Born a Monster

Chapter 146: Servant of the Axe, 46 – Useless Baubles

Servant of the Axe

Chapter 46

Useless Baubles

“What do you mean you’re not an enchanter?” Kismet asked me, “You’ve told me a lot about how it’s done.”

“In theory.” I said. “We’re not talking about a skull made for the one-time storage of necromantic energies. You’re asking for an amulet that does something I can’t even do yet with magic.”

“I’m asking my friend to help protect me.”

“And I’m telling you, that’s something better done by an actual, class holding, Enchanter. Someone who does that for a profession.”

.....

She kicked my ankle. “You’ve learned classes by doing, before. Do this. For me.”

“Madonna, help me, here. How hard is it to become an Enchanter?”

“Not hard at all, husband.”

The lying tramp!

“It’s no harder than any other class I’ve offered to teach you, and easier than some, such as Lifeshaper.”

I ground my teeth. “I have forgotten to thank you for handling trade in our absence. Gamilla says you have a gift for mercantilism.”

She squeezed her lips together in a pout. “I think that deserves at least a linguistically creative insult.”

“Fine. You are a treacherous woman, so violacche de cul upon you, perra d’lenfer.”

She leaned back in a half-saunter, eyes closed. “Thank you, husband. Now if only you truly believed that. Very well. He needs time to develop the spell in a motive mode. Wards are easy, they stay in one area. A protection spell... that is a different matter.”

Wait... Protection spell? Like Protection mana? I could actually work with that.

“I know that look.” Kismet said.

“The boss is thinking.” Narces said.

“I don’t understand why the butterfly brooch is the proper vehicle.” Dimmihammas said.

“Personal. Reasons.” Kismet said again.

Our tent flap was thrown open by a native. “Miss Turner says to pack up, that it is time to go.”

“Wait, is she not going to fill the hole back in?” I asked.

“We who helped dig the hole shall also help to un-dig it. We are well paid for our labors, which end early thanks to you, Unapongo.” I may never know how the natives learned of my connection to Pongo. Maybe he told them; I wouldn’t put it past him.

Unapongo literally translates as “sent by Pongo” or “comes from Pongo”, but the cultural connotation is “he who does things in Pongo’s name”. If I didn’t want that to stick, I had to nip it in the bud.

What was his name again? I’d need to get an ability to remember...

“I leave this to you, Biniti, son of Cahoute. Tend to this wound in the earth; do not let it fester and turn sour.”

He broke out in a wide grin. “I will make Pongo proud of how we are caretakers of his island.”

We clasped hands over his promise, and it was good.

I might have seen a large dog among the trees, or it might have been a trick of the shadow. What reason would they have to follow any of us, after all?

#

There was a day of feast and dance and other celebration in the village of the People of the Dog.

[Spells matching your search: Ward Against Taint]

Everything I knew about Taint, about magic, said the spell should be impossible. Yet, there it was, real and complex and mostly not the invocation that I had made, calling instead upon the Blue Flame, a class I didn’t wholly possess.

My wife raised my hand to her lips, bit into it. Painfully.

“What do you need my attention for, wife?”

“Your soul is in turmoil.”

“The spell Kismet wants.”

“Should be impossible for magic. And it is. You are tapping something else, husband. Faith. Granting your prayers weakens those who call themselves gods by just a smidge. Come the reckoning for the First Debate, every little smidge will be needed.”

“But I ... I don’t recall invoking anything divine.”

“Didn’t you? A miracle it worked, then. Or a miracle someone was watching at just the right moment. Either way, just another smidge in our favor. You really should be on our side of this thing.”

“I thought your side was going to end all mortal life.”

“Yes, we are. But here you are, doing things that aren’t supposed to work. Ever think of leaving that pesky mortality behind?”

“Hrm. Ask me again in a century or so.”

“Sure, you might still be around then. Come, husband, they’re about to start another dance.”

Dancing itself is an agility-based skill; dancing as a means of communication is usually charisma. I know, I know, languages are Insight, including sign languages, so why not dance as well? At the current time, I think the answer is this – because there is the one dance skill, and different uses link to different attributes.

Or my System was just all bunged up. Which, if it truly worked off of my understanding of the world, is still a very real possibility.

We danced wildly out of step with each other, which was partly her fault. Yes, only partly. My dance moves were crude, unpracticed, and probably did the title Unapongo a dis-service. But eventually, the torture ended, and we sought out drinks.

“Where did I leave my boots?” I asked.

“Where another could see and covet them. They’re gone.” She responded.

“I’m not sure I care about that. I almost lost them in the clay pit as it was.”

“You care, they were good boots.”

“They were, but we have enough to buy new boots.”

“And take a spa day. Kismet reminded me, of all devils, that you promised.”

“Well, let’s take care of that.” We walked to where Miss Turner was enjoying the shade.

“Miss Turner, we wanted to talk to you about re-supplying in Neo Esteban.”

“And having a spa day there.” Madonna said.

“Well, I would rather go to my favorite spa in the Girdle, but yes, it makes more sense to resupply at the closer colony. You were wanting to go after the lance of Invicta Gloriana? Perhaps thinking your spearwoman could wield it?”

Wait, lance?

#

“I admit we have a few other sites if you think the Invicta’s barrow has been looted. But we are eager to meet these large black cats you mentioned, as well.”

“There are rumors of a ruin inside a caldera, east of the cliff-dwellers.” Madonna said.

“Inhabited by a vampire, of all things. Damned if I know what he feeds upon, but it doesn’t seem to be the locals. Almost have a town, and grow crops of cotton and flax, herding sheep for wool and cheese. Best left alone, that one. True heroes only.”

“Vampire? Not a demon or devil?”

“Don’t believe your rumors, young Missus. Far before my parents were twinkles in the eyes of their parents, he has reigned there. Not unchallenged, mind you, but to the best of my lore, he reigns there still.”

“Pity.” I said. “We shall just have to become heroes, then. But for what we can do now, what supplies do we need?”

“Shouldn’t your finance officer, Gamilla, be the one to ask that?”

“I leave it to the two of you, then.” I said.

As we left, Madonna leaned into me. “You are about to lose grip of your own finances.”

“Gamilla has her own motivations for seeing our money reserves grow.”

“What are those motivations, husband?”

“This, I do not know. But so long as we are able to send coinage back to the mainland, I will do whatever it takes.”

“Do not tell me, who saw you trade away both your liver and kidneys at once, that I doubt your resolve. I am merely questioning after your perception, skills, and guidance. I would hate to see you on the cusp of helping me retrieve the remaining items of the panoply, only to say, die in poverty slaving away in the coacoa fields of Dauria’s prison island.”

“The Ermine Cloak is on display in Dauria, if I recall correctly.”

“That is frustrating for me, to know that sometimes you pay attention.”

“Sooner or later, we must go to the dragonwyr, to Dauria, and I must at least extend greetings to the Kraken. It seems a waste of time to be in Daurian territory and not seek this hidden gravesite.”

“I do want my pretty baubles.” She said. “Or, if you cultivate your skills, perhaps you can make a new panoply for me.”

“I do not see that in our near future; even if I unlock the class, crafting items requires...” I shrugged and stretched open my hands. “A warehouse, at the very least. Tools, devices, supplies. Potentially even a leyline or magical node or nexus. We need to found our colony, and get colonists to the islands. And for that, we need a boat. And for the boat, we need money.”

“And you list these things out as though they were obstacles. Witchcraft is performed in huts, hermits hold great power, and elves make blades of power in the raw woods. But you’re not actually listening to me, are you?”

.....

“I admit, it would be nice if I had two or three decades, but my homeland is at war. I’m focusing on the short-term goals right now.”

She rubbed her eyes. “Yes, husband. You say the right words, but I don’t think you understand.”

#

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