Beers and Beards: A Cozy Dwarf Tale

The inside of the building was a bit of a let down after the outside. The main building was obviously set up as a factory of some sort at one point, and very little had been done for comfort. It was all stark stone with a few wooden accents. That struck me as a dwarven design decision. It felt very much like cave-deco.

The second storey was an open balcony affair with a single set of stairs going up to it. There was some space for tables up there, but it was probably just used for management oversight originally.

While all the furniture was gone, a series of long counters still ran along the center of the stone floor, their surfaces dusty but well-made. There was a good amount of light let in from the front window and some solstones dug into the rafters above us so it wasn’t dark or dingy by any means. A front desk made of well-oiled wood was set up in front of the door.

“Yes, yes. It was definitely a glassworks.” Whistlemop mused, running his hands over the long counters and ducking to look beneath them. “You can see where they had the rollers set up for the annealer here, and this odd empty space would’ve been for a glassblowing furnace or maybe the float bath. See how they run right up to that big hole in the wall there? I bet that leads to wherever they had the melting chamber. The apprentices would’ve passed the molten glass through the window to the masters and journeymen to craft in here. I think they did glass blowing and manufacturing. They were big, whoever they were.”

“It’s like listening to Pete…” Aqua muttered.

Kirk did a few hops and smiled broadly as his head didn't even come close to the rafters. “Much easier to stand in here than back at the Goat!”

That was true. It was quite roomy, even with all of us wandering around inside. Whistlemop, Copperpot, Bran, Opal, Bando and myself really did make for a pretty big crew.

“Copperpot, are you planning to stay?” I gave the engineer some stinkeye. I already had Malt along, and now Whistlemop was hankering for space as well. I wasn’t sure I could handle a third little surprise.

“Oh, goodness no.” Copperpot chuckled. “The Pots have our own house here in Kinshasa. We provide tea for all of Crack you know, so I’ve been here a few times. I’ll see about getting another warehouse set up like we did in Minnova. I am excited to see where you end up, though.”

“I’m trying to avoid making a big to-do until we’re ready, Pete.” Copperpot winked, and I rolled my eyes.

“Well, in the meantimes, what do ya think? As someone who fits our target market?” I asked, gesturing around the space.

“Hmmm ‘Target Market’, I like that phrase. Well, it’s within a reasonable distance of Yellowwall, while not being too far from Redwall. The gated courtyard is a big plus, crime can be a bit of a problem in a big city like Kinshasa, as you can imagine, and the space itself is quite cozy. The colour choice and materials are very dwarven and you may want to change those up if you want more gnomish customers, but it is quite nice, all told.”

“So could you see yourself staying here?” Annie asked, buffing the front window with her sleeve and looking outside at the busy street.

“Oh, Aaron no!” Copperpot laughed. “This isn’t like Minnova with its egalitarian atmosphere. Or the East for that matter. Gnomes will be keeping mostly to gnomish cafes and dwarves to dwarven taverns. Between your beer and your ownership, this is clearly a dwarven establishment.”

And Minnova wasn’t that egalitarian, I thought morosely. Heck, my auditor, Silverpen, had been an anomaly: the only gnome at City Hall.

“So then why bother gussyin’ it up fer gnomish customers, eh??” I asked incredulously.

“Because I’d be coming over? You may not get many other gnomes, but at least you’ll always have a Pot!”

“Which is why Thad Harmsson is so important!” Bando cut in excitedly. “He plans to patch things up by cuttin’ out all the old laws preventin’ gnomes from becomin’ Greybeards! Or Brewers, or any of th'other dwarf-only jobs!”

“Peh. Weasel words and a passing fancy.” Whistlemop scoffed.

Bando turned angry eyes on him. “Lord Harmsson is an inspiration to all of us! He works tirelessly so's every dwarf, dwarfess, and moustachio are equal under tha long beard o’ tha law. Uh, and gnomes.”

“Yes, yes. I’m sure he’s very nice.” Annie sighed. “Pete, what do you think?”

“I like it! But I don’t know…”

Back in the day, Caroline and I’d made the decision not to go all in on a full pub or tavern for Beavermoose Brewery. We had a small tap-house, but it was just a shack that probably wasn’t up to code with a bunch of kegs in it. It’d never been something as lofty as our current situation, even after expanding into a winery.

“Well, I love it!” Aqua purred, running her hand over a counter. “It’s a bit dusty, but what’s a little dust? Who’s going to be my serving counter? You are!”

“Who wants to go look at the courtyard?” I asked, moving over to a series of wide windows into the courtyard. It was a bit overgrown, with the usual brown scrub that grew down here. There were also vines creeping about, probably from the same plant that had taken over the front trellis. The courtyard itself was made of well-laid cobblestone, and big enough for a few carriages to maneuver around. From where I was sitting I could just make out stable space, which we would need for Penelope of course. Speaking of which.

“Do you like it Peneleope? Uh… Penelope? Has anyone seen Penelope?” I glanced around the room, sudden icy-terror flooding my veins. Had we left her behind somewhere in the city??

“She was just eating vines outside, but I’m certain she came in with us.” Annie dashed out to look.

*meeeehhh* [Translated from Prima Donna goat] “Do you have holes for eyes? How can you not see a Princess when she is standing before you?”

I jumped nearly a meter into the air, and Johnsson squeaked. She’d come out of nowhere! Aaron’s Fancy Freckled ARSE!

I held my thumping chest. “Penelope! Ya scared tha bejeezus out of me! Annie! She’s in here!”

Annie walked back in, her face a mask of confusion. “How did we miss her?”

“She was probably hidin’ in a back room or somethin’. Come out to the courtyard with me!”

“We’ll stay here.” Copperpot said, motioning at Whistlemop. “See what the furnace room looks like. I need this fellow to help me figure out how hard it’ll be to renovate.”

The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

Bran grunted. “Me too. I want to see where my kitchen will go. I won’t be stayin’ here neither. Opal has family in Kinshasa, so we’ll be bunkin’ with her clan in Blackwall.”

“I can’t wait to introduce them to the champion Chef of Minnova.” Opal’s smile glittered more brilliantly than her namesake.

“Hah! You mean you can’t wait fer me to be cookin’ again!” Bran chuckled and the two shared a moustache nuzzle.

“Ugh. Go get a room. Literally. Figure out where you want yer kitchen Bran. Check with Whistlemop that it’ll fit after renovations.”

“Aye, Pete.”

“Richter, Johnsson, go scope out the basement. I want to know if it’ll fit a brewroom or long-term beer storage. Kirk, you go too, I want to make sure you’ll fit.”

The trio nodded and headed out while I turned to everyone remaining.

“Aqua, Annie, Balin, you’re with me. Let’s see if the housing is as nice as the facilities.”

“Um, I’m not wantin’ ta be a bother, like, but do ya got any of them there jobs fer me?” Bando asked.

I gave the innkeeper’s son a look over, then nodded. “Keep an eye on Penelope.”

Goat and boy shared a look of mutual distrust.

*mahh* [Translated from Prima Donna goat] “What is this pathetic wastrel you have thrust upon me??”

Bado paled as Penelope fixed him with her whirling eyes.“Are, are you sure?”

“Good luck!” We all laughed as we ambled out the side door and into the courtyard.

It was surprisingly bright outside, with the enormous lanterns hanging over the city giving everything a cheery yellow glow. The courtyard area was fully enclosed by buildings, with a portcullis archway leading to the street.

Besides the stables, there was a small carriage house designed to hold carriages, and a row of row houses. Maybe we could have a row in them later. Nyuck! There were three of the single-storey affairs, though I knew there was another floor beneath the ground, and finally, a larger two-storey manor house with a stopped clock on its peaked rough. While it was a bit overgrown at the moment, the structures were well-made.

Unlike the outer walls, the walls inside the courtyard had a dark wood criss-crossing over the facade. It very much reminded me of old half-timber houses in Germany, actually. The manor house had a second-storey balcony overlooking the courtyard that definitely added to the effect.

“It’s perfect.” Annie sighed, looking around.

“I call dibs on the house on the right!” Aqua squealed.

“I think those’re for the guests,” Annie cajoled. “We’ll be lodging in that lovely looking manor.”

I scoffed. “Psh. Haven’t you two ever been house hunting? You never fall in love with a place until after you’ve checked the foundations and dug behind the fresh coat of paint.” I said that, but the truth was I really liked it too. Hopefully we wouldn’t find any oil tanks under the ground, or moldy walls, or that it was part of a homeowners association. But if this was going to be our new crib, I was going to go over it with a fine-toothed beard comb.

“Aye, I’ll need at least a day ta look it over. Needs some repairs,” Balin agreed, running his hands over some of the wood making up the framing. “And these wooden beams need a good look over. Seems like they were goin’ fer mine-deco in tha main building, but whoever did tha courtyard wanted ta shine it up a bit. Overall, tha place looks more gold than pyrite. It’ll be right proper after some hard work!”

“Sounds like a problem for the King’s purse!” Aqua chuckled, her hands rubbing together at the thought of a near-unlimited budget.

“Let’s go into the manor house, I want to see what the future home of clan Goldstone looks like!” Annie marched resolutely forward, with Aqua pattering on her heels. Balin and I followed after a moment later.

The manor house had that lonely feeling that only an empty home could have. Empty rooms that were meant to be filled with furniture and happy faces. It followed the dwarven style I was used to with an open space at the entry-way with a series of open doorways leading out to various rooms. Said rooms were all appropriately cavernous and well proportioned, with a living room, dining room, and kitchen. The kitchen was bare bones, but we’d be eating at the pub anyways. The lounge had a sunken space meant for reading, with bookshelves and an ornate stone fireplace. Richter was going to have conniptions!

Upstairs was an office space, with one room filled with shelves for a larger library, and a bunch of cork walls to place notes. The patio overlooking the courtyard was inside what was probably meant to be the master-office. The basement was the exact opposite, with a bunch of small holes in the ground meant to be bedrooms.

One room tucked into a back corner of the basement was even set up as a spacious hot-spring and sauna, with a slot for magic stones I’d need to get Richter to give those a once over.

Lighting was good too. There were sconces liberally placed for Solstones; that would be expensive, but cleaner and easier than candles. Also, the wall facing the courtyard was filled with windows that let in bright light, and if Kinshasa was anything like MInnova that would be 32 hours a day.

I knew I’d told Annie not to get attached, but dammit, it was just so perfect. Between the courtyard, the pub, and the location, this was more than enough for our burgeoning little clan to thrive, and grow.

There were a grand total of twenty rooms in the manor, more than enough space for all of us. One of the bedrooms in the basement that I was already mentally calling dibs on had a loft! I was going to get them to tunnel it a bit deeper into the wall so I could have a secret little dwarfcave. A couple months of digging and hard work, and it would be just right! Then when the clan was having get-togethers I could invite a select few in for beers and beard-oiling. I could even –

I paused.

How long had I been thinking like this? Just earlier this year, I’d been wanting a home of my own; a place that was me where I wouldn’t be tripping over a roommate all the time. But here I was searching for a place for my clan, putting their needs and comfort above my own, pleased with a cubbyhole in a corner in a basement.

And yet it felt right. Like an armoured sock protecting a vulnerable foot. Or flaming bagpipes in the dark. Or digging for gold in a dangerous, gas-filled, dimly lit tunnel.

I combed my beard as I mused, and realized that it was just a bit easier to brush than usual. Probably all the extra care I’d been putting into it the past couple weeks with Johnson’s help. Richter had been just a bit more genial and genuine in his lessons on dwarven culture. Heck, even Annie, and Aqua were subtly different. Like a – well, big lie had been lifted off our relationship. Only Balin and Kirk were the same. Balin because he already knew everything, and Kirk because he probably couldn’t tell the difference.

I walked down the hall to regard myself in a wall-mounted mirror. It stood right before the stairs leading out of the basement, a space to check one's beard for night-drool before heading upstairs.

All that stared back was a squinty-eyed, ruddy-faced, armoured-sock-wearing, warhammer-on-hips, dwarf.

Me.

I smiled, and the dwarf smiled back.

*Bing!*

Hidden Quest Complete: Body and Mind

Your Spirit and Spark are now one. Feels good to be a dwarf doesn’t it?

Gained: [Map]

*Bing!*

Ability Improved!

Your [Minimap] has evolved into [Map]!

Your [Map] now has a mapping function! Its range has increased! You may set notifications!

*Bing!*

Quest Complete: On The Road Again

Reach Kinshasa Alive: 310.2/273.5 km

Gained 1 Agility! Your new Agility is 13.2!

Visit and read more novel to help us update chapter quickly. Thank you so much!