Become a Star

“You can’t compare my misfortune to those people… Who do you think I am? Do you know how many fans stayed up for days and nights outside just to see me? How much they loved me…?” Lee Yeon whined.

His popularity was around the middle among the members of Blue Fit. Lee Yeon had many of his own fans, though not as many as Min Si-Hoo and Lee Min-Soo.

But now that so much had changed in a year, it was hard for him to accept the change.

“Just because you were happier than others before doesn’t make you more miserable than them now,” Woo-Jin said bluntly.

The weight of happiness differs from person to person, and it was the same for the weight of misfortune. However, that didn’t mean that these weights were directly proportional to each other.

Moreover, these weights weren’t comparable. Other people’s misfortunes might seem similar, but one always feels that their own misfortune was a little heavier than others’.

“I know and have known people who have been far worse off compared to you. But that doesn’t mean anything to you. Your own misfortune isn’t invalidated when I tell you about their’s.”

Telling a depressed person that there were many others who were more miserable than them was the most meaningless and terrible way to comfort them.

“If you want my sympathy, you came to the wrong place. Just like how the misfortunes of others cannot comfort you, my sympathy cannot make you happy either,” Woo-Jin stated.

He wanted to tell Lee Yeon to find someone who actually cared about him and ask for comfort instead, but right now, it seemed pointless to say so.

If Lee Yeon had someone like that in his life, he wouldn’t have appeared in front of Woo-Jin like this tonight.

The idol who was once loved by countless people had no place to seek comfort. Thus, he came to find the object of his anger instead. He had come with a knife in his inside pocket to murder Woo-Jin. But Lee Yeon didn't have the courage to follow through with his initial plan and simply fell on his butt.

And Woo-Jin wasn’t kind enough to give such a person any sympathy.

All he could do in this situation other than sighing was to go home and wait for the next day to come. Even if this was the last time he ever saw Lee Yeon, there was no reason for Woo-Jin to feel responsible or guilty about it.

But what prevented Woo-Jin from leaving the scene was the sorrow he couldn’t help but feel. Lee Yeon had once been a senior whom he respected and followed. They dreamed the same dreams, were once colleagues, and prayed for each other’s success.

Woo-Jin knelt on one knee and gazed into Lee Yeon’s eyes.

All signs of intelligence and sanity had disappeared from those drunk, hazy eyes, leaving behind only instinct and hatred. It didn’t seem possible to approach Lee Yeon with a rational explanation to convince or appease him.

Lee Yeon had given up on life, but he didn’t have the courage to take the final step. He only had the desire to die; he was nothing but an empty shell.

“If you want to die, then die. If living is hard and waking up every morning is painful, then how can you sleep peacefully at night? But…”

Woo-Jin had committed suicide several times during his past lives. In fact, Prince Myeong-Hwan—Woo-Jin’s past life that played in the movie—willingly walked to his death, which could also be counted as suicide.

Perhaps he lacked humanity in his past lives, as he never hesitated whenever he had made up his mind to die. That was how difficult and unbearable life was for him.

Thus, Woo-Jin could understand Lee Yeon’s feelings of yearning for death to some extent.

Of course, the present Woo-Jin regretted his foolish actions which led to his deaths, but there was one thing he was glad about.

“I just hope that you don’t regret it while drawing your very last breath, when you leave this world all alone, hyung…”

During all the lives where Woo-Jin had given up on living, he had never once regretted his decision at the very last second. At the very least, he had hope that death would be better than life.

But what if someone came to regret their decision at the very last second, right before their life came to a close?

Although it had never happened to Woo-Jin, he was terrified just from imagining it.

Woo-Jin wondered how terrifying and painful death would be at the end if he regretted his decision at the very last second when there was no chance to turn back.

“I…”

Lee Yeon had a hard time properly understanding Woo-Jin’s words as he wasn’t composed. However, his eyelids fluttered at the loneliness of the word ‘alone’.

Lee Yeon believed that death was his only way out as he had no future, but he was also afraid to die alone. That was why he had come here to die with the subject of his anger, Chae Woo-Jin.

However, Lee Yeon did not have the strength, ability, or even the courage to kill Woo-Jin.

“What does it mean to die…?”

He had been imagining death for the past few days, but now, Lee Yeon questioned what it really entailed.

He just imagined death as an escape route where he could rest comfortably with no worries. Nobody would mock him or ignore him there; a peaceful state of comfort.

“It’s like how you don’t know how the weather will be tomorrow. You will never learn how the book you used to read ends. You will never see how the people you love grow old. That is what happens to you when you die, hyung.”

The shock, anguish, sorrow, and longing after death belonged to the living, not the dead.

“I understand that it’s difficult. But hyung, how about trusting yourself at least once in your life?” Woo-Jin asked.

Lee Yeon looked up at Woo-Jin blankly, as though he couldn’t understand what the latter was saying.

“All the choices you’ve made until now are ultimately choices you made because you didn’t believe in yourself. So how about this time, just this once, you trust yourself and live on? Don’t assume that the future is bleak and hopeless just because your present life is worse than the past.”

Although Woo-Jin couldn’t come up with hypotheses or what-ifs about his past lives since they had already happened, he tried to imagine the lives that could have potentially been prosperous if he hadn’t given up and chosen death.

Surprisingly, all those hours and years he never got to experience seemed like a waste, and he missed the past. Woo-Jin felt no personal compassion for Lee Yeon, but he did sympathize with the idol due to his previous experiences.

“They say the weather will be really nice throughout next week.”

Woo-Jin spoke as he put his hand inside Lee Yeon’s clothes. He ignored the startled and bewildered Lee Yeon and simply took out the fruit knife from inside the jacket.

“I’ll be keeping this for now. Do you know how pretty the sky looks these days in the morning? It’s extremely beautiful. You should definitely check it out tomorrow, hyung.”

Lee Yeon closed his eyes at those words. Woo-Jin watched Lee Yeon for a while, before he stood up slowly and walked to his car without looking back.

Even after he started the engine and disappeared into the long, dark street, Lee Yeon sat there with his back against the wall for a long time.

***

Woo-Jin looked at his news feed as soon as he woke up in the morning. Fortunately, there were no unsavory articles to be seen.

Even after a few days passed, there was no news about Lee Yeon. When Woo-Jin secretly asked Kang Ho-Soo about the idol, the manager told him that Lee Yeon had disappeared from the hospital a few days ago which sparked an uproar.

“But he showed up unsteadily the next day and seems to be receiving proper treatment without any complaints now.”

“That’s a relief,” Woo-Jin said

“Indeed. Do you know how difficult it was to prevent the article about the accident from being published? That bastard should just stay quiet and get himself treated. That’s the only way he can be helpful.”

Woo-Jin quietly patted Kang Ho-Soo on the back. That sort of intense reaction wasn’t quite like the manager’s usual behavior.

Woo-Jin kept his mouth shut about how Lee Yeon had come to see him a few days ago. He thought it would cause an unnecessary ruckus. Woo-Jin usually had nothing to hide from Kang Ho-Soo, but this was a difficult topic to bring up.

The same could be said for CEO Jang Soo-Hwan. So when the CEO summoned Woo-Jin to the office, he was extremely nervous. Fortunately, the CEO had another matter to discuss with Woo-Jin.

“LL sent us a revised script this time.”

CEO Jang said that LL-Studio had modified the script of Guardian Angel and handed the new version to Woo-Jin.

“Have you read it?”

“I did. Jin’s background was expanded and his content in the main story increased. He also has more lines now. It’s obvious that they made these revisions just to tailor the character to you.”

CEO Jang’s tone and expression showed that the script was modified in a favorable way for Woo-Jin.

Originally, it wasn’t known where the character ‘Jin’ came from, so there was an obvious need for some changes. Now that ‘Jin’ was supposed to be Korean, the writers needed to modify the content to better suit the new version of the character.

“And we came to the agreement to shoot some scenes in Korea.”

“In Korea?”

“Apparently there was a place which caught the director's liking when he went sightseeing last time. I think they intend to give a strong Korean image and feel to the character. Still, most of the shooting will be done in the US, so stay on your toes!”

Woo-Jin nodded earnestly to Jang Soo-Hwan, who was worried for the actor.

“By the way…”

Woo-Jin was about to grab the script from Jang Soo-Hwan, but he hesitated for a moment. Woo-Jin flinched as he thought the CEO found out about his recent confrontation with Lee Yeon.

Even though Woo-Jin hadn’t told anyone, there were so many paparazzis these days that he didn’t know if anyone had accidentally witnessed the scene.

In fact, the car accident involving Lee Yeon was also secretly photographed by a paparazzi from afar.

Their original purpose was to take a picture of Chae Woo-Jin leaving his house for the bar exam interview, but they unexpectedly caught the big incident on camera.

But since Woo-Jin didn’t want to get into another scandal involving Blue Fit, the agency had to buy the photo from the paparazzi at a huge price to prevent it from getting published. It was impossible to hide the traffic accident completely from the media, but they were able to prevent Woo-Jin’s involvement from spreading to the public.

All of this was possible thanks to Kang Ho-Soo’s hellish and strenuous efforts, so it was understandable that he would constantly grind his teeth in frustration whenever the name ‘Lee Yeon’ was mentioned.

Be it by his fans or the paparazzi, Woo-Jin was constantly being watched. He had to always be careful about his actions.

However, it was impossible for Woo-Jin to control the actions of others.

This time around, Woo-Jin was very anxious that a picture of him with Lee Yeon was taken that night. Fortunately, CEO Jang brought up a different topic.

“We got a request for you to star in a commercial…”

“I won’t film any more commercials now.”

People say that one has to seize the opportunity when it arrives, but Woo-Jin didn’t feel the need to this time. While some people filmed dozens of commercials in one go, Woo-Jin thought he had already filmed more than enough right now.

Moreover, in his case, he didn’t stop at just starring in the commercials. He always had to use the sponsored goods as well, so having extra products in his hands right now would only be a burden for Woo-Jin.

“Right, that’s what I thought you’d say. But the problem this time is the client,” CEO Jang said.

“Who is it?”

“Barenjeong Foods.”

Before he even got a chance at feeling relieved that his meeting with Lee Yeon was still a secret, Woo-Jin froze at those words. Those were words he couldn’t have imagined even in his wildest dreams.

Woo-Jin could only blink continuously, so CEO Jang kept explaining with an awkward smile.

“That man wants to cast you as the model for a new line of products that Barenjeong is releasing soon. Did he perhaps contact you personally beforehand?”

Woo-Jin barely managed to shake his head at the CEO’s question. He hadn’t received a single call or message from him.

In fact, his biological father hadn’t contacted him once even after Chae Woo-Jin was revealed to be his son.

“I seriously don’t know that that person is thinking.”

Woo-Jin had no idea whether the man was making small, shy steps towards a path of reconciliation with his son, or whether he only saw this as an opportunity to do business.

“Just ignore it,” Woo-Jin said firmly.

Woo-Jin’s biological father was a creative but self-righteous and arbitrary person in his memories. The man knew no shame. He thought that he had no reason to feel ashamed of anything as his actions were always just and sincere, thus he was always self-confident even when surrounded by people’s gazes.

It was difficult to understand his actions and decisions through common sense.

“I think he’s trying to initiate contact by doing business with me. Tell him not to even dream about it.”

If there were people who only made the worst possible choices, there were also people who were simply the worst, period.

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