I thought he might push me away. He didn't. His body stiffened a little at first, but when I didn't let go, he started to relax, and his fingers interlaced with mine tightened.
"Qing-er," he whispered against my lips.
Something shredded my heart at the sound of his voice. I had never heard my name spoken like this, with such deep longings and profound love that hid beneath all the hesitation and fear. I suddenly remembered that evening when he kissed me under the plum tree in front of my room. Our first real kiss. He had made me say his name, and I wondered if this was what I sounded like, if this was how he felt back then.
Even though I still didn't fully understand his qualms, swapping positions with him like this and seeing such a vulnerable side of him pained me. If I knew that bringing up the past would hurt his feelings so much, I probably wouldn't have asked. I couldn't change what already happened, but I wished I could do more to ease his mind, to assure him that what was gone was gone, and I would stay with him through the future no matter what his struggles were.
I brushed my thumb over his forehead, trying to smooth out the thin lines on his brow knitted with sorrow. "I'm not leaving you," I said, recalling what he had told me that night to reassure me. "Don't let this change anything between us, will you?"
I wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing myself closer, and I kissed him again.
It took him a little while to respond to me, but he did. Slowly, his hand slipped free from my grip and slid up my nape, holding me in, and he parted his lips, giving me a taste of him for the first time in days.
Relieved at his silent answer, I delved into his mouth, exploring and savoring him in a slow caress. I felt my heartbeat quicken as I took in his scent, his taste. I hadn't planned on kissing him like this, but I missed the sensation of him, and in a way, I wanted him to know it. Suddenly, I stood up. In his puzzled gaze, I reseated myself in his lap, straddling him, and I sealed our lips together once more.
I wanted him to know that regardless of what he thought might hold me back, I loved him and wanted him all the same.
My fingers worked the ties of his robe, and I heard his breathing change. His hands glided beneath my dress, a bit hesitantly at first, but when his palms found my bare skin and started roaming all over me, the heat of his touch told me everything. I moved my body forward, almost sighing in relief when I felt him already prodding me hard, and I shifted my weight to support myself on my knees, rubbing softly over him.
He breathed heavily into my mouth. We didn't speak, but I could tell from every sound and gesture of him what he was thinking. I knew he needed more time to fight his hesitations and fears, so I gave him time, moving against him slowly while intertwining my tongue with his. I wondered if this counted as seducing him, but I didn't care. I would do it over and over again until I broke his stubbornness.
He was hot and stiff, and as I enticed him with those light touches, the heat inside me burned as well. The hush of the night was soon filled with our heavy breaths and sighs, and at last, he gave in. "Qing-er." He broke our kiss and yanked my collar loose, trailing burning kisses down my chest. "You are a little devil indeed."
And with those words, he buried his face into me and took one of my nipples into his mouth.
I moaned as sharp tingles shot through me like lightning. His teeth grazed over my tip while his fingers pinched my other side at the same time, sending waves of shudders down my spine. He had finally broken free of himself. And even though my push seemed to have made him a little more relentless than usual … I relished this new feeling. I pulled down his breeches, shedding my lower garments in one swift motion, and I sat into him.
We both moaned. With his tongue and fingers already playing havoc on me, the sensation of him filling me from below was too strong, and my knees almost buckled. I dug my hands into his hair, panting while I gathered my strength, pulling myself up before sitting all the way back down again, letting him in to the fullest.
I heard his gasps with every move. His other hand squeezed my bottom, clenching me tight, and he thrust gently into me in rhythm with my movements. He knew exactly when and where to find all my most sensitive spots, and as waves of pleasure started sweeping over me, I felt a sense of fullness in my heart. This was the harmony between us. This was what we shared that no one and nothing could take away from us.
"Bai Ye," I whispered into his ears. "Devils are persistent …You won't be able to ever get rid of me."
He didn't respond, but I knew he heard me, because the next moment, he closed his teeth around my sensitive tip. I squeaked as the half-pain, half-pleasure sent a maddening tremor through my whole body, and my knees gave in. I fell into his lap, swallowing him full inside me, and the deep slam carried both of us over the edge. I collapsed onto his shoulders.
He leaned against the corridor's column behind him and wrapped me in his arms. "You already missed your chance, Qing-er," he kissed me and said. A smile finally returned to his face.. "I'm not letting you go, for as long as I live."
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