Chapter 159 – Love Rivals
I froze with the broom half-raised in the air. That sounded like Su Nian's voice. Why would she be here to look for Bai Ye? Shouldn't everyone know that he was on a retreat?
Dropping the broom, I dusted my sleeves and straightened my collar, making sure that I looked orderly and presentable before I opened the gate.
It was Su Nian indeed, and her perfect smile faltered when she saw it was me. Then a different smile returned to her face, with all the confidence and pride but none of the softness and warmth. "Is your master out of retreat today?" she asked.
Today? That wasn't like anything Bai Ye said to me when he left. Seeing no point in telling Su Nian those details though, I shook my head and replied simply, "Master isn't back yet, and he didn't tell me how long it would take."
Su Nian raised a delicate eyebrow. "He didn't tell you something this important?" She gave me a skeptical look. "How big of a breakthrough was he expecting?"
I understood why she had asked that question. Retreats followed standard schedules, in the form of seven rounds of seven-day meditations, nine rounds of nine days, and so on. Bigger breakthroughs meant longer sessions. Today was the forty-ninth day since Bai Ye left—as much as I tried not to think about him, I couldn't help but count the days that he owed me an explanation—and it would've been a reasonable date to expect him to return if he wasn't going through anything major.
"He didn't tell me that either," I said truthfully. "I can let him know when he comes back that you were looking for him, or I can pass a message if you prefer."
Su Nian stared at me again. Then she sneered. "I can't trust you with that … It's not in your interest to tell him about visitors like me, is it?"
It was my turn to stare at her then. I had always known that Su Nian didn't particularly like me, but I hadn't heard her speak with such open hostility either. Before I had a chance to respond, she added, "It's just you and me here, Yun Qing-er, so I might as well put it straightforwardly. You might be able to hide your thoughts from other people, but you can't hide them from me. I was in the same position once, after all."
I frowned. I knew she was talking about Bai Ye, and I knew it was pointless to try to pretend that I didn't understand what she was implying. Normally, I would let awkward conversations like this pass as quickly as they could by staying quiet, but maybe because of the grudges I had been holding for this past month, or maybe because of the unpleasant memories that the snow reminded me of this morning, I didn't feel like taking her veiled barbs quietly this time. So I said instead, "It's not as complicated as you think, Master Su Nian. Only those who vie for attention from someone that isn't interested in them will be so concerned with potential love rivals. I'd be more than glad to pass on a message for you if you like."
Su Nian's eyes widened. She obviously didn't expect me to talk back to her this way, but like she said, it was just her and me here, with no one else around to judge, and I was too busy dealing with all the other troubles these days to care about how I might've just offended an immortal.
"I suppose you do have some backbones," she said. The courteous smile disappeared from her face, and her piercing gaze swept me from head to toe. "But you speak too soon. What makes you think that you're not vying for attention from someone that isn't interested in you? What makes you think that someone like Bai Ye would ever consider someone like you?"
I had no interest in hearing any preaches or ridicules from her, but she didn't give me a choice. "You don't know him," she continued. "You don't know what kind of woman is worthy of him, and you don't know how much he had loved someone before. If you do, then you'll understand how childish and hopeless your feelings for him are."
If I had heard those words two months ago, they may have stabbed my heart and hurt more than I could imagine. But now, everything felt numb on my already hardened feelings. "You know who he had loved before?" I asked somewhat absentmindedly.
Su Nian's lips curled. "Of course. His one and only love of a lifetime, I dare say. She was beautiful. Powerful. Truly his equal in every way. I'm sorry to say this, but you have to understand that you are nothing compared to her."
I knew Su Nian was trying to gloat by making me jealous, but my attention was on something else. The woman she was referring to … "You've met her?" I asked. "Who was she?"
Su Nian laughed. "Bai Ye didn't tell you? He doesn't seem to trust you all that much then, hiding everything from his retreat to his lover from you … But I suppose it's understandable. After all, I was the one that stayed by his side after she was gone. I was the one that accompanied him through those hard times and helped him recover from that pain of loss. I know him much better—" she leaned in closer, hissing every word, "so do you know for sure which one of us is vying for attention that we don't deserve?"
Pulling back, Su Nian turned and left with a triumphant smile. My dumbstruck face must've satisfied her vicious jealousy … though she would never know that it was shock instead of hurt that made me freeze like a statue in the snow.
Bai Ye had told me before that he was too despondent to pay attention to Su Nian while she stayed at his hall. I had always taken for granted that the source of his sorrow back then was the incident with Twin Stars, but from what Su Nian just said … it was actually the loss of a lover?
Was that lover the same girl I was thinking? If so … if Bai Ye had loved her so much that he couldn't get over her death for decades … then why did he kill her?
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