I opened my eyes wide and stared at the master in bewilderment. How could anyone not have a past cycle of life?
"Don't be so astonished," the master smiled amicably. "This is not unheard of, and certainly nothing to be worried about. There is a starting place for everything. Every soul has to go through its first cycle at some point, doesn't it?"
"But …" I scanned the room. All the rest of the disciples were deep in their memories of the past, some smiling, some frowning. "Why does everyone else have their past memories?" I asked. "Does it mean that my soul is … different from theirs?"
"Souls don't last forever. They are created by the pristine power from heaven and earth, and once they exhaust their cycles of rebirths, they disperse back into the universe. New souls like yours are rare—" the master gave me a philosophical look, "—and isn't it a blessing? Memories can be a burden. Your ties and bonds in the past extend into your current life and become something you can't break away from. It is fortunate to start with a clean slate, isn't it?"
Although I still found the whole thing confusing and strange, I nodded my thanks. The master walked away to help other disciples, and I was left pondering just what in the world I had learned from this bizarre first day of lessons.
~ ~
I told Bai Ye that night about my new self-discovery. To my surprise, he wasn't shocked at all. "I knew this before I took you in," he told me. "Examining your spiritual root gives me a glimpse into your soul. Like that master said, this is rare, but not unheard of."
He paid no more heed to the news and went on to nag me about not showing up to his lessons. When I mentioned that I was worried about looking suspicious, a series of glares and persuasions ensued. The night ended with me promising that I'd attend at least one of his sessions every day, and totally forgetting to bring up those earlier questions about Twin Stars.
It was probably for the best though, I convinced myself the next day as I walked into the room for his lesson. I felt a bit like a coward whenever it came to this. On one hand, curiosity made me eager to find out the remaining secrets about those swords, but on the other hand, I wasn't sure if I was ready for that knowledge, and I silently thanked every excuse that distracted me from getting closer to the truth.
I picked a seat in the front row and sat down. From the setup laid out on the tables, I could tell the upcoming lesson was going to be on talisman drawing. One of the topics that Bai Ye hadn't gotten much chance to teach me yet. I didn't expect it to be a popular lesson since Mount Hua was better known for swordsmanship, but strangely, disciples were trickling almost endlessly into the room, and the hall was soon filled to capacity.
"Surprise surprise! I saw that handsome master this morning in the residence hall!" A girl's voice sounded somewhere nearby in suppressed excitement. From the corner of my eye, I saw that it was a disciple from Jade Temple two benches to my right, whispering with another girl in the same Jade Temple robe.
"The master for this lesson?" her friend gasped. "He's staying on our floor?"
"I don't know … I saw him in the stairway," the first girl said. "I walked in front of him intentionally. And he looked at me when I turned around!"
"He looked at you? Did he smile?"
"No … But that was enough! You have no idea how beautiful his eyes are! Oh heavens, just imagining his smile sends my heart pounding …"
I turned and looked around the room behind me as the two girls giggled. Almost the entire audience was young women around my age, and I suddenly understood why the room was so packed. I felt a little speechless, but at the same time, I suppose I was really the luckiest person in this crowd.
The door opened right at the scheduled time, and Bai Ye stepped inside. The lively room hushed immediately. I thought I could feel those eager, admiring eyes piercing through the air, but Bai Ye didn't seem to notice. He strode straight towards the lectern, and as his gaze swept past me, his lips curled into an almost unnoticeable smile.
I smiled back without thinking, then hid it hastily when I realized what I was doing. I cursed inwardly at my stupidity and glanced around, hoping that no one saw it. Fortunately, almost the entire room was smiling at Bai Ye … and I didn't look conspicuous at all.
"I expect all of you to be already familiar with the basic concept of talisman drawing," he began. "The key in this art is to etch your spiritual power into the symbol to be summoned. We will start with a simple shielding spell as an example—please refer to the sample pattern on your desk."
The sound of rustling paper filled the room. The two girls from earlier started whispering again, "His voice is so soft and smooth too …"
"And he's so much more patient than the other masters …"
I glanced at Bai Ye furtively as I picked up the sample and dipped my writing brush in the small pot of vermilion powder. He still showed no expression, though I knew he heard those girls. Sometimes he made me wonder what it felt like to hear such praises of yourself all day … Especially when you knew they were all wholeheartedly real.
He continued to instruct us on how to trace the symbol onto the talisman paper and use our spiritual power to etch it. The tracing part was simple, but a lot of us struggled with the latter. The power flow had to be controlled extremely precisely. Too weak and it wouldn't be enough to summon the effect, too strong and it would burn the etching altogether. After three rounds, only a handful of disciples in the room succeeded, and I was staring at a pile of paper ashes instead.
"Your power needs to be not only precise, but also consistent." Bai Ye's voice suddenly rang above me. Before I could look up, the scent of cedar drifted closer, and a hand held mine. His familiar spiritual power danced over my fingertips. "Steady and smooth, like this. When you move over the symbol—" he guided my hand over the drawing, "—release that power slowly and evenly, like the way you exhale during meditation."
I could hear my heart thudding in my ears. He had often held my hand like this during my training, but did he not know that at this moment, everyone else in the room was looking at us with such burning gazes that I thought they'd set me on fire? I considered inching a little farther from him, but his concentrated look told me that I was overthinking it. Just as I was battling with myself trying to decide what to do, he straightened, pulling away. "Now try again," he said softly.
I nodded. Trying not to think about whether others were staring or whether I might've blushed, I guided my spiritual power the way he showed me, smoothly and steadily over the symbol. A golden light blazed, slowly but surely through the drawing, and I smelled the vermillion powder burn. The symbol turned a dark shade of crimson.
"She succeeded!" one of those girls from earlier exclaimed. She turned to Bai Ye, "Would you mind giving me some help as well? I think I've almost got it … I just can't control the power quite right."
Bai Ye looked at her for a split second. Then he turned to me. "You got the hang of it now. Would you like to show your fellow disciple how you did it?"
The bright smile on the girl's face cracked. Before I could reply, she quickly added, "I-It's alright, I don't want to take the precious time out of her own learning opportunity … I think I can figure this out myself."
Bai Ye nodded as if that was the most reasonable thing to do, and walked away. I bit back a laugh.. This girl obviously hadn't heard of that scene Su Nian made on the stairs … It would take everyone a while to learn how hard it was to fool Bai Ye with little tricks like this.
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