Ball of Nothing

Chapter 179 Special 1 Year Anniversary Zero“s Birthday

Zero jumped out of his bed in the lamp and stretched. Today was going to be a great day! Mii was busy in her library and Bob was out for a tea session with Olaf. Although it felt slightly lonely, the teenager didn’t think it was necessarily a bad thing. In fact, he’d been craving this small sense of freedom for a while now.

With all the blood-pumping events going on in Hell ever since his sudden arrival, all Zero wanted to do was sleep the day away. Even his curious mind and energetic self needed some time to recharge every once in a while.

The young doctor got dressed and decided to wear his beloved tracksuit. Today, he felt like wearing a red top with a white bottom because why not? Now that he was tall enough, Zero had no issues reaching the bell. That was one of the perks he got after receiving his new vessel.

Instead of the regular vortex and pull to reality, Zero’s intuition screamed at him. Sadly, the young doctor wasn’t fast enough to pull back before the magnetic force sucked him in and spat him out like a chewed-up gum.

Zero landed with an oof on his back. The ground was rough and scratchy, a feeling the brunet had never experienced. The room was regulated with a temperature controlling device and then he realised something else that was off. He wasn’t alone in the room.

Zero backed away as far as he could from the creature before him and studied them as they did with him. The creature appeared to be sitting on some kind of chair equipped with wheels. They were humanoid in appearance and Zero decided that they couldn’t be harmful because there were no traces of mana coming from them.

The creature had golden hair much like Zeus’ except Zero could see some black hair much like Isis’ growing from the scalp. What a weird combination! Somehow, the creature looked like a child but Zero knew better. That look of curiosity wasn’t the same as that of a small child. Those onyx eyes held great strength, wisdom, experience and dare Zero say... insanity?

"The Writing Gods have blessed me! Son of a pistachio nut... you’re a very realistic hallucination... If I’d known that all it took was six nights of no sleep and a sh*t ton of coffee to get this product of imagination, I would have done it sooner."

Zero didn’t understand everything this creature was saying. There seemed to be something censoring certain words with loud and obnoxious bleeps but Zero paid no heed. He was more curious about how familiar this alien felt. It must be the resonance between people of similar height.

"Do I know you? I feel like I do..." he frowned.

The creature beamed brightly and Zero thought he saw something akin to a halo behind the stranger. The bizarre lifeform began rambling and making high pitched noises before her hands reached out to pull at his cheeks.

Zero squirmed in her grasp but those tiny hands wouldn’t let him go. "This is fantastic! You have no idea what kind of Hell I’d been through... Almost a hundred chapters and you were STILL not out of that damned abyss... I wanted to end it like a few months prior but then I work in finance and a sh*t load of stuff happened so I couldn’t do it? D*mn though... you’re cuter than I thought. Would you like to be my cat? Wait, have a virtual cookie."

[Unknown species have given you a virtual cookie. Would you like to accept?]

Zero blinked at that familiar window. Good to know that the system was still working. Although Zero knew accepting gifts from strangers can be a bad idea, the weird person before him didn’t look capable of harm.

The weird lifeform was delighted when Zero accepted that emoji cookie. In fact, she would probably have invited Zero to partake in her evil schemes of scamming virtual cookies from innocent people with his disarming appearance. Sadly, Zero’s wasn’t quite a real creature and would expire as soon as she collapsed from fatigue. Still, as the proud owner of the Earth’s only virtual cookie bank that gives chocolate chips as interest, it was a mighty tempting thought.

"Who are you?" Zero finally asked. The map wasn’t working and none of the magic he knew worked here. Zero felt very vulnerable in the foreign world with a half-crazed humanoid sharing the same breathing space as him.

"Glad you asked, glad you asked. I’m your creator, Zero."

"How did you know my name?"

The sly self-proclaimed creator grinned. "Did you know I was going to name you BON for the lack of naming sense? You’re the main character of the book called Ball of Nothing. It’s been exactly a year since you came into existence and a product of my boredom. It was also Singapore’s National Day last year when I had the itch to start writing something utterly stupid so you were born with that stupid flash of light in your non-existent face. Season 1 was so well received that I decided to take it seriously after it ended. It’s the reason why Season 2 is such a challenge but I would appreciate if you could resolve the matters in Hell soon."

Zero blinked. The self-proclaimed creator made no sense.

"Who are you?"

The midget blinked and laughed. "I’m a writer... I’m your writer actually. Well, not your writer but you get what I mean. Destiny Aitsuji? Britannia? The writer with a day job in finance? The kid from Singapore who also published The Liberal Assassin? You know... all that jazz."

Zero didn’t know what kind of opinion he should have about the writer before him. She was missing more than just sense and Zero thought that she was somehow worse than Vrald. Stupidity couldn’t be cured but insanity that wasn’t the medical kind might just be worse.

"Oh yes! I know exactly what you can do for me," the writer declared. Zero stared at her as if she’d lost more than half her marbles.

"I’m not-"

"Don’t be polite now! I’m sure you’d be great. You see, recently I’ve been very tired and cranky so the story hasn’t been progressing much... It’s a good thing nobody is in today. I don’t want to go out alone but seeing as you’re here right now, I think I can leave the lab and continue my work later. There are some places that I’ve been dying to go to... I need a break."

Zero didn’t get a chance to protest before Destiny dragged him away. The young doctor didn’t get how that room was a lab. It looked nothing like Raj’s workshop. It wasn’t even full of whacky inventions that could be potentially hazardous or deadly. On second thoughts, there were many foreign-looking objects in there that appeared questionable for the safety inspection team. Zero spied a rotating blade on the top of a tall naked rack as well as a box of sharp-looking tools. Seriously, what did Destiny do for a living?

The first place the writer dragged Zero to a cafe. Zero didn’t know what she wanted but complied when he was told to sit. "I’m going to grab some coffee. Do you want some?"

Zero didn’t know what coffee was but when Destiny described it as the elixir of the Writing Gods, he readily agreed to try some. Destiny returned with two cups of brown liquid with cubes of ice. The weather was rather warm so Zero rolled the sleeves of his tracksuit up. They received weird looks from the other humans walking around but paid no attention to the secondary characters in life.

The first sip of coffee struck Zero like a baseball bat. The liquid was an odd balance of sweet and bitter. The cold drink helped make the hot weather slightly more bearable but the one thing that made Zero shiver in delight was how awake his mind became all of a sudden. Was this truly the elixir of Gods?

An unexplainable ball of energy spun wildly inside of Zero after he emptied his cup. The mysterious power kept him awake and alert. Destiny’s knowing smile made him cautious all of a sudden.

"All awake?"

Zero nodded cautiously and Destiny’s smile grew wider.

"That’s fantastic! Now we can start the real agenda of the day. When one is stressed, one must eat . Abuse all the sugar, forget all the calories... Depression can come another day for we are going to party!"

Without delay, the crazy writer hoped onto her bicycle and had Zero settle behind her before they pedalled full speed ahead into the next page.

***

"What is this?"

"It’s called ice-kachang. Just eat it. The rule of the game is to dig for as many treasures buried beneath the ice and not collapse it."

"There are treasures?" Zero was amazed. It was so deceptively pretty with the colourful flavoured water on the ice but now that he heard about those buried treasures, Zero made it a goal to find everything he could possibly find.

In no time, the young doctor discovered what those buried treasures are. Red bean, corn kernels, jelly and nipa palm fruits were waiting beneath the melting ice. Zero moaned as he stuck another spoonful of the goodies in his mouth. Destiny had long stopped eating and chose to observe her creation. On a normal day, she wouldn’t be able to enjoy eating so much variety thanks to the small capacity of her stomach. Today, the Writing Gods have finally decided to reward her efforts.

Once Zero finished demolishing the dessert, Destiny brought him around the island and introduced to the main character of BON what technology was like. Zero instantly recognised the thing called handphone. It was very similar to his intergalactic communicator.

"Yes, that is an i-phone. It was created by Steve Jobs who was a person from our world. He passed away about a decade ago from a disease called cancer. I’m happy to know that he is doing good in a new world living his passion to the fullest."

Zero nodded. He chatted with Destiny and found out that Hua Tuo was a man in ancient Chinese history and that Buddha was once a prince. They were now on something called the MRT - Mass Rapid Transport and Zero marvelled at the sights as they passed. Destiny promised to take Zero on a tour around this mysterious world and the young doctor simply couldn’t wait.

"There is a Merlion?"

The writer smiled at Zero’s child-like wonder. "Not a living one because it’s more of a marketing gimmick. However, you’ve got to admit that it is quite an interesting gimmick. I wouldn’t bring you around to look at the miserable nature reserves we have. Even the abyss has better scenery. It’s a concrete forest in Singapore but that’s what you get when you have five and a half million people on a tiny island. I can’t speak fondly of many things but I can boast about the wide variety of tasty food we support. Depressing stories aside, we should celebrate your birthday today."

"My birthday?" Zero asked. He didn’t think that was ever going to happen seeing how his existence was a huge mystery in itself.

Destiny nodded. "You are my child in a sense and I created your existence on the 9th of August. That’s going to have to mean something, right? As a tradition, we always eat cakes on birthdays. You can ask your questions later."

The young doctor didn’t refuse the offer of free food. Destiny didn’t stinge either and bought a strange green looking cake called Pandan Chiffon from a neat little shop in a shopping mall basement.

"It goes great with Oolong tea, a favourite of mine," she explained. Zero nodded and followed Destiny on the food trail while admiring the tall skyscrapers and dodging the vehicles called cars. Destiny warned him about crossing the roads without checking and Zero gulped when he heard that. He didn’t want to be roadkill.

They roamed the streets and jostled with people. Zero didn’t know how so many people could live on such a tiny island but didn’t complain. He didn’t have a sense of money in this strange world but even he could tell how pricey everything was. Destiny laughed it off and joked about how even breathing could be taxable, it was ridiculous! Somehow, they managed to fill their stomachs without emptying Destiny’s bank account too much and this was the list of Zero’s recommended treats should anyone visit Singapore.

1. Prata - A kind of Fried Indian Flatbread that tastes great with a sauce/gravy called curry and some sugar.

2. Nasi Biryani - A mixed rice dish popularised by the Indian Muslim community often served with pickled vegetables, unique blends of herbs and spices as well as some kind of curry meat.

3. Takoyaki - A Japanese snack made from flour batter and small bits of octopus rolled into fried dough balls.

4. Bak Kut Teh (Meat Bone Tea) - Pork Rib soup boiled with spices.

5. Kaya Toast - Toasted bread with coconut jam and butter.

6. Orh Lua (Oyster Omelette) - Fried oyster with potato starch and eggs.

7. Satay - Skewered meat marinated and grilled often served with a popular spicy peanut dipping sauce.

8. Durian - A pungent tropical fruit dubbed as "King of Fruits" within South East Asia.

9. Curry Puff - A small pie with shortcrust or puff pastry with various fillings such as curry potato and sardines inside.

10. Popiah - Chinese crepes. Rolled in thin wheat crepes with cooked carrot and turnips strips and topped with peanut garnish with sweet sauce.

After stuffing his face and stomach, Zero found himself back in the lab where he first found himself in. His admiration for the writer and self-proclaimed creator increased. He’d seen many interesting sights such as the tall apartment buildings, shopping malls packed with humans of all kinds and the variety of gadgets incorporated into the society’s way of living. If Hua Tuo thought his waterwheel was a marvellous invention, he would be put to shame to know that motors and generators have taken over the world. More interestingly, Destiny explained how her brother owns something as fragile as glass that could harness the power of the sun and convert it into the magic of this society called electricity. The writer was sparkling full of interesting knowledge.

"I don’t know what to say or feel... the world you live in is amazing!"

Destiny’s eyes turned slightly sad and Zero wondered what he’d said wrong.

"Thank you. It means a lot to me. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, Zero."

It was already evening as their island foodie tour came to an end. The young doctor didn’t want to leave just yet. Something told him that once he did, he wouldn’t be able to return. However, he could feel that strange magnetic force coming closer as the sky grew golden orange.

"Destiny, I... thank you for today. I don’t know how to thank you enough for doing what you do. You’ve given me friends, life, a birthday and a lot of love from people I didn’t know about. With 1.5 million views for the story that I live in... it’s amazing! The readers’ comments, the number of people who added it to their libraries, the community you’ve inspired after writing the Ball of Nothing for 1 year is nothing to sneeze at..."

He then looked at Destiny with teary eyes. "I don’t know if I will remember any of this when I get back but I wanted to let you know and everyone who has been reading till the latest chapter and voting for it that I am very thankful. Thank you for giving me a chance to see that beautiful world, thank you for giving me the opportunity to meet so many wonderful people and making so many friends. Thank you for giving me support from a different universe because if it wasn’t for everyone here, I wouldn’t be where I am right now. It’s been quite the journey and I love everyone from the bottom of my heart!"

The writer smiled, looking like a huge burden has been taken off her shoulders. She waved at Zero who was slowly beginning to disappear. "This means a lot to me, Zero. It’s been a dream come true to finally meet you. Know that even if you don’t know us, cannot remember us or will never meet us... we will always be here for you, separated by the wall between fiction and reality. Your actions and adventure will help to soothe our tired hearts and give our broken selves new reasons to fight."

"I will do my best!" Zero promised. "I love everyone!"

Destiny watched as the vortex completely closed and waited till there was absolutely nobody else in the room.

"We love you too, Zero. Happy birthday."

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