His widely opened eyes had returned to an ashen color, and his appearance once again looked as young as twenty-two years old. So much so that it seemed ridiculous that I had mistaken him for being thirty.
I grasped his firm forearm.
“Those aren’t your emotions.”
“They are ‘my’ emotions.”
Liam muttered, seemingly offended. But he knew it in his head too. That while it’s the same person, it’s not the same. I patted his arm as if to comfort him.
“I understand you don’t want to let me go. But this body isn’t mine, you know.”
He nodded. Though he looked quite sad, Liam knew I had to go. Liam Moore, rubbing his forehead roughly with his hand, spoke as if lamenting.
“I guess I’m still young. How does he endure this?”
It makes me laugh. Liam admitting with his own mouth that he’s young, how amusing is that? Seeing this side of the man who always pretended to be an adult in front of me just made me laugh.
As I gently embraced his neck, Liam sighed.“Go, Jane. Dylan probably doesn’t want to hug me with his own body either.”
“Oh my. Sorry, Dylan.”
The young Liam, finally showing a bit of a smile, bumped his head against mine lightly before pulling away.
“Go on now. You said it’s calling you. You should follow before its voice gets hoarse.”
“I’m worried about the mess in the house.”
“Who do you think I am?”
I chuckled as I placed my hand on the mirror. Beyond the surface that rippled smoothly like water, I could see a deep blue sky. My arm sank in. And something slowly began to pull me in. Me. My soul that had been attached to Dylan Vermilton.
Before I was completely drawn in, I turned around and threw a joke to Liam Moore, who saw ‘me’, with a grin.
“Who else? My crybaby detective. Just a bit younger and more energetic.”
In the end, Liam Moore couldn’t hold back his laughter, but I saw him clutching his side. Even so, he hurriedly shouted, as if afraid I wouldn’t hear:
“I’ll wait for you, Jane!”
The last thing I saw was his brow slightly furrowed in pain. And his bright smile, subtly distorted.
The mirror closed. The hot air completely engulfed me.
* * *
The sensation of hot sand slipping between my toes was vivid.
I was in a stark white desert. When the sand-laden wind blew, I could feel the grains of sand scratching past my cheeks. The sharp sunlight tried to scorch my scalp. The searing heat rising, the boiling temperature of the sand. But deeper in the sand, it wasn’t as hot as I expected.
“Liam?”
Thrown onto the ground, I opened my mouth blankly.
“William Moore?”
It was clearly a voice calling me. I felt the force pulling my name and existence from the mirror. But the person who called me was nowhere to be seen, and all I could see was an endless desert and blue sky. If it weren’t for this situation, I’m sure I would have found it beautiful.
My skirt fluttered. Somehow, my clothes had returned to the familiar blue skirt.
The truth in my mind whispered.
‘This is Liam Moore’s mental landscape. You’ve been affected by it.’
“Mental landscape?”
Does it mean the inside of his mind? Does this mean that in Liam’s mind, I always look like this?
I slowly turned my head to take in the surrounding scenery.
Endless sand dunes stretched out, repeating the same shape. The alien deep blue sky had not a single cloud. Was time even passing? Just the wind blowing from the other side without any answer. Beautiful but desolate. At the same time, very monotonous and quiet.
Liam Moore’s mental landscape is a place ‘like this’?
“Then where is Liam?”
‘He should be at the very center.’
The heat rises sizzling, making it hard to breathe even for a moment, and I’m already worried about how long Liam has been here. Can Liam, with cracks in his soul, withstand this place?
I slowly started to move, descending the sand dune. My feet feel as if they’re burning. I didn’t particularly want to check how high the ground temperature could rise. Staggering, I called out Liam Moore’s name at the top of my lungs.
“Liam Moore!”
Where on earth has he gone?
I know he’s here. My ‘sense’ was telling me. After encountering El, I inherited some insight into the truth, and it was speaking to me.
Telling me that Liam Moore would be waiting for me here. That it couldn’t be anywhere else.
When I turn my head, I see the paths I’ve walked being erased. Footprints disappear, and I can’t go back. So the only option left for me is to cross this vast, daunting desert.
I felt the skin on my fingers tightening. As if someone had sewn my skin with thread, and that thread was stretching out somewhere long. A faint pain was felt on the skin, so I slowly caressed my fingers.
As I thought I felt it, I could touch the thread. The silk wrapped around my fingers swayed loosely on the sand. Very occasionally, like a fish caught on a fishing line, I felt a small, throbbing vibration. Like a heartbeat. As if someone was pulling from the other side.
I thought I heard Liam Moore’s voice on the wind.
‘This way.’
The destination was clear. I started walking faster, using that voice as a guidepost. Even though I was sinking into the sand up to my calves, even though the sizzling sand was touching my skin and leaving red marks, I didn’t care.
No, that’s not right. I ran. The faster I ran, the more I could hear Liam’s voice.
It felt like sand was entering my lungs. My throat felt rough and raw. I could even taste something metallic. It was that exhausted feeling you get after running for a very long time.
When Liam’s voice started to fade, I would change direction, and when it got closer, I would run that way. It felt like playing hide-and-seek in the middle of the desert.
Is this the right place? I’m not even sure anymore.
Is he here? He has to be.
“William!”
And in an instant, the sand ended.
* * *
“Blurp!”
Very cold water drenched my body, snapping me back to my senses. I, who had become accustomed to the hot sand, fell in with a splash as soon as the ground beneath my feet changed to water. It was so cold that I couldn’t even scream.
Belatedly looking around, I realized it was a shallow lake that came up to about waist level. Blue, cold, and transparent enough to see the bottom in one glance.
I know this place. I couldn’t not know it. It’s the place Liam and I passed through when using the ‘glass’. If such a place doesn’t exist anywhere else, that is.
Something cold settled on my shoulder. As I slowly waded through the icy lake, snow was falling from the sky. ‘Snow’ falling in the desert.
“This is impossible.”
My jaw dropped in disbelief. Behind me, the white sand dunes were still scorching, but here, snow was falling. It was impossible. How could snow fall in such hot weather? How could water freeze?
The voice in my head spoke.
‘Anything can happen here.’
I continued to cross the lake. Kicking off the bottom that never deepened, towards the white island in the center. Thin ice breaks at my knees. Transparent ice shaped like cattails grows at the edge of the island, and the mix of white sand and snow created a texture that was both gritty and crunchy. The wet hem of my skirt was freezing in its damp shape.
And when I finally set foot in the center of the island, I was able to discover the person I had been searching for so desperately.
It was Liam Moore.
I couldn’t be certain it was exactly Liam, but I recognized him by the faint black hair visible amidst the white snow.
Liam’s body was half-buried in the snow. Snow fell on his pale skin, and thin ice had grown as if it had melted and refrozen repeatedly. Liam didn’t seem to be breathing, and he remained motionless with his eyelids tightly closed. Was he asleep?
“Liam?”
This won’t do. He seems unable to wake up because of the cold.
Only after clearing away the snow weighing down his body and grabbing his shoulders to pull him up onto the snow field was I able to face Liam Moore’s condition.
His shirt was unbuttoned haphazardly. Through it, I could see his well-muscled upper body.
But, that, the state of it was a bit strange.
‘What is this…?’
Liam Moore’s upper body was split open from the center of his collarbone to his navel. No, I should correct that. It was ‘open’. As if someone had taken a knife to it. But there was no blood at all. Like a diamond ore cut in half, it just shone palely in the snow.
The voice in my head gave another hint.
‘It’s not an injury to his real flesh.’
I see. This is Liam Moore’s broken soul.
The soul he had mutilated was crumbling like this. Moment by moment, like sand falling in an hourglass.
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