In the joy of rescue, I didn’t feel the despair of knowing I’d be pulled down from it. Honestly, I hadn’t expected to escape this place, so I wasn’t that distressed. But Liam would feel differently.
I grabbed Liam, pulling his face close. Owen Cassfire turned away with an awkward cough, sensing the odd tension between us.
“Oh, that direction is where Clara is.”
Unfortunately, he came face-to-face with Clara and was horrified. It’s not surprising to scream when a person with a gun suddenly walks through the door.
“Liam!”
No, nothing is wrong. From experience, I can tell that there’s truly no feeling at all.
Holding Liam’s head firmly, I spoke to him with a biting tone.
“Liam.”
He obediently lowered his head, his eyes flickering with anxiety.
“Yes, Jane.”“See you later.”
“What?”
He looked at me with wide eyes in surprise.
“…Sorry. I’ll tell you the truth next time.”
But when I die, time will reset, and all of this will never have happened. Thus, my rescue will also be delayed. I’m not too regretful about it. If repetition drives people mad, I might have gone insane long ago.
When the fear of death no longer affected me, I closed my eyes and thought, ‘Clara Barnum noticed what happened to me. Does she know what I’m thinking?’
Time flowed very slowly. At the same time, it was fast. I couldn’t grasp which it was.
Bang!
The loud sound of something tearing through the air echoed. And then the recoil. I heard a sound in my head like something breaking. I decided to accept the sensation of my body falling backward humbly.
* * *
When I opened my eyes again, Clara Barnum was beside me. Her glassy eyes stared at me without blinking, and a fly that flew from somewhere landed on her eyeball. Despite it being annoying to her vision, Clara did not move.
I nearly screamed at the grotesque scene before me the moment I opened my eyes, but I managed to keep my mouth shut.
‘Oh, my heart.’
Eyes, girl. Eyes.
I took deep breaths, steadying my blurry vision. There was certainly no pain. The sound fading away and the sensation returning. That’s all I remember.
I returned not long after being killed. And Clara, who killed me.
Clara smiled faintly as she watched me trying to regain my senses.
“You’re awake.”
I still did not speak. To be honest, I felt like I’d throw up the moment I opened my mouth.
‘Clara.’
The first thing I did when my mind cleared was test Clara Barnum. I spoke to her in my mind.
I remembered the dark presence I saw when she took my notebook. Whether Clara temporarily borrowed someone’s power, or something possessed Clara, it was one of the two. Which one was it?
Let’s assume the latter. If what’s behind Clara is a being similar to El, it might know my thoughts. That must be avoided at all costs. If it knew what I was thinking, I wouldn’t be able to make any plans. I would have to sit and wait until someone else saved me. And I despise that.
So, I threw out the most tempting words in my mind. If Clara, or whatever else, could read my thoughts, it would have to react immediately.
‘Can you hear me? I’ll do what you want. I’ll be your sacrifice or whatever.’
But Clara only seemed displeased by my silence, not recognizing my thoughts.
Oh? Then the story changes. Thoughts can do many things.
I confirmed that Clara took control of my body but couldn’t touch my mind.
‘So that’s why you tried to destroy my ego.’
Because my mind wouldn’t surrender.
It was clear. I swallowed a laugh and blinked.
I began to see a way out. A way to end this foolishness. First, I needed to meet Liam. And then…
Honestly, I never thought I would voluntarily do this.
Clara was still full of determination to persuade me, babbling endlessly. But at least it’s better than when she was holding a saw.
“…Shut up, let me think.”
“You’re amazing for not giving up after all those deaths.”
“Yeah, I guess my ego is more inflated than I thought.”
Clara, who had been silent with a twisted expression, finally spoke again after a while.
“By the way, Jane, where does that courage come from?”
“What courage?”
“Accepting death even after seeing a gun aimed at you. Oh, come to think of it, you’ve never begged for your life. That’s why He chose you as hope,”
What nonsense. This is all from the infinite save-load repetition. I rolled my eyes, ignoring the cult-like talk.
This is a game. A crazy, maddening game between you and me. I have to find an escape route somehow, and you want to do something twisted with the shell of me left behind.
“Clara, you’re talking nonsense. You’ve killed me so many times, do you think I’d be scared of a mere gun?”
“Are you saying I’ve only been kind to you?”
I remained silent again. And in that silence, the conclusion became clear in my mind.
Clara is not the owner of the notebook. She temporarily seized the authority, but the notebook didn’t provide Clara with the information it gave me. It only showed her memories of the past, nothing more.
I’m going to show Clara clearly who has the upper hand. Just because she took my notebook doesn’t mean she’s won. I will reclaim it.
What I had to do was clear. Not to lose myself.
Clara made a foolish choice. She should have made it so I couldn’t regain my senses. If she had killed me repeatedly without giving me a break, I might have given up. But giving me time, that’s something she should never have done. Time allows for preparation.
Thanks to that, I knew Liam would come a few hours later. The faint reason in my mind clearly surfaced.
“Do you still not want to join us?”
Clara asked. She watched me without blinking. I didn’t answer. Instead, I showed off my handcuffs.
“Does it look like it?”
Clara twisted her lips and stood up abruptly. She didn’t hide her irritation. I didn’t care. In fact, it would be a relief if Clara left.
“Let’s see how long you can keep that up.”
She spat out the words and walked away briskly. Even then, she took care not to step on the patterns on the floor.
Only after her footsteps faded and the door completely closed did my tension release. Then, like a delirium, memories of death surged up. It flopped around like a fish fallen out of a net, splashing fear everywhere.
I had no sensation in my limbs. It felt like my body wasn’t my own. Time slowed down. I turned my gaze to the void.
* * *
“Jane!”
Ah. Here we go again. The excitement was starting to wane.
Although I hadn’t mentioned it, we’d already met twice more. Liam always approached me anew. Once, I was shot in the back of the head while escaping with him, and another time, we all died from inhaling poison spread in the air. I don’t want to lay out all those tedious details. The fortunate thing is, thanks to those experiences, I had plenty of time to prepare.
I hadn’t told Liam that I had to die. I decided to tell him now that my plan was set. Somehow, I felt like I was only learning how to drive nails into Liam Moore’s heart.
“Hello, Liam.”
I greeted him. He seemed surprised by my calm demeanor. I must have appeared unusually composed. He glanced around nervously and asked,
“…Jane?”
But I couldn’t always resolve his anxiety. From now on, Liam Moore would have to handle things alone. Without me.
“I’ll get straight to the point, since there’s no time.”
Clara would come. She would sense something was wrong if I didn’t escape soon. She left me free and killed me to make me despair. I had to let myself be manipulated by Clara’s intentions.
I knew. As long as I didn’t give up, I could save myself.
“Liam, I need your help.”
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