Ave Xia Rem Y

~~~

“Master?”

The sky has turned dark by the time Liu Jin arrives home. Yet, under the light of the moon, Liu Jin can easily make out his master’s form. Old Jiang waits for him outside the clinic, smiling one of his usual smiles, the type that makes Liu Jin painfully aware of his own inadequacies.

“Has my standing in your eyes fallen so far that seeing me like this is cause for surprise?”

“I...”

Liu Jin’s brain scrambles for something tactful to say but comes up empty.

“I-I did not mean…”

“You did.” Old Jiang’s face turns serious. “More importantly, you should.”

“Master?”

“A doctor should not mince words out of fear. If someone is dying, do not ignore it. To do otherwise is an insult to your skills. I am dying. That is something you and I have known for quite some time. Do not be afraid of saying it. Do not be afraid of thinking it. It is natural for you to treat me as a dying man should be treated, shameful as it is to admit it.”

To that, Liu Jin has nothing to say.

“Of course, the day I die is not today,” Old Jiang adds in a lighter tone. “Today, I woke up feeling quite well, well enough to take a walk. In fact, I think that is what I will do.”

Panic flares up inside Liu Jin.

“Master, are you sure?” Try as he might, Liu Jin cannot hide his concern. “In your condition…”

Old Jiang chuckles when Liu Jin trails off.

“You cannot bring yourself to say it still? What a disciple I have raised, but worry not. I know my body better than anyone. I still have quite a few days ahead of me, so do not stop me from enjoying the few good ones I have left. Besides, I believe your father wishes to discuss something with you without the input of his old master.”

“My father?” Liu Jin blinks, not having expected that. “Did he mention anything in particular?”

“I cannot say he did. Knowing him, it will be something needlessly complicated and overly sentimental,” Old Jiang says, walking past Liu Jin, leaving him alone in front of the door. “You two do enjoy such things.”

Perhaps under other circumstances, Liu Jin would have responded to the taunt. Now, he stays silent as his master walks away. He does not even have the strength to look at his back.

“By the way...” Liu Jin’s head perks up. “What did you think of the tournament? It is not often one so young experiences how sects operate.”

This time Liu Jin does turn to look at his master.

“You knew?”

Old Jiang throws his head back and laughs. “I do not need to leave my room to know what happens in this city, disciple. Even if I did, Xiao Zheng’s Qi spoke quite clearly tonight. I daresay he is pleased. Are you?”

Liu Jin takes a moment to think, and it is not just because his master deserves a proper answer that he does so.

“When Elder Brother asked for my help, I was happy,” Liu Jin admits, looking up at the stars. “Having the opportunity to help him. Being able to beat Wu Yan. I even enjoyed getting along with Xiao Fang, but…”

The smile that was forming on Liu Jin’s face slowly fades away.

“I didn’t like that I couldn’t beat Yun Han on my own. I told myself I didn’t care about winning or losing the tournament. However, I still felt frustrated at my own weakness.”

Because, deep down, there had been a part of him that really wanted it.

Victory, that is.

“When Xiao Fang and I were left out of everything at the end, that was annoying in a different way.” Liu Jin frowns. “Rather than it being our achievement, it felt like we were just moved across the board by everyone else. Master, if you ask me what I think of this experience, I can only say it was tremendously disappointing.”

But…

“But there were some parts I didn’t mind. Some parts… I even enjoyed.” Liu Jin shuffles awkwardly, looking at his feet. “I feel… Master, I feel I don’t want to lose next time. Does that make sense?”

Old Jiang laughs.

“Does it make sense? Oh, foolish disciple of mine, nothing could be more natural.”

~~~

His father is preparing tea.

Liu Jin does not interrupt him, silently taking a seat at the table instead. Liu Jianguo’s movements brim with practiced grace. He has always been good at making tea.

It occurs to Liu Jin, as his father pours the heated water into the teapot, that his love for tea may be something he inherited from his father.

“This is a different blend,” Liu Jin notes once his father finishes. The scent coming from the tea is not the usual one.

“I had saved it for a special occasion. It seemed fitting to use it today.”

Liu Jin brings the cup to his lips. The tea is still hot, but that doesn’t bother him. His eyebrows rise as the tea hits his taste buds.

“It is good.”

“Is that so? Most people find it too bitter the first time. It is said to be an acquired taste, which is why it can be hard to find.”

Liu Jin shakes his head. “No, I like it.”

He is not lying. While the tea does have a slightly bitter taste, it is not to the point of being unpleasant. Instead, it gives it character.

His father smiles.

“The leaves used for this blend come from the Storm Dragon Empire. To be more specific, the leaves can only be found near the capital of the Storm Dragon Empire, the place where I grew up in.”

The cup almost slips from Liu Jin’s fingers. The child stares at Liu Jianguo with wide eyes.

“Father?”

Liu Jianguo chuckles.

“Once, I cowardly thought it would be fine if you never knew the truth. Then you found Master, and I realized the Heavens were not done with me yet. You needed to know, but when? When you became Master’s disciple? When you submitted yourself to a god’s trial? When you overcame that trial? Time and time again, I wondered if the right time had come. To think I’d be such a coward at my age.”

His father shakes his head.

“I have a pretty good idea of what you have gone through today. Regardless, it doesn’t matter. Even before that… Yes, ever since I saw your fight with Yun Han, it was clear to me that it was already the time. You possess courage, skill, and good judgment.”

Liu Jin cannot bring himself to speak. Ever since he found Old Jiang, his father’s past has been the biggest mystery in Liu Jin’s life. Over the years, Liu Jin has managed to gather pieces of it, but it has never been enough to form the full picture.

Is he about to hear his father’s tale?

“Make no mistake. You are still young, and you are not immune to the recklessness associated with your age. Yet, it is clear the world will not treat you as a child. Unfortunately, my son, you are too capable for your own good.”

Liu Jianguo pauses, taking a few seconds to gather his thoughts. His tea has gone untouched all this time. Steam rises from the cup and drifts lazily between father and son.

“How curious,” he says after a while. “All this time, I have wondered when would be the right time to tell you. Now that it is here, I find myself at a loss as to how to start.”

“The beginning.”

His father blinks.

“One usually starts at the beginning,” Liu Jin says, blushing as he suddenly finds his tea to be the most interesting thing in the room.

“The beginning?” Liu Jianguo laughs. “Yes, that might be for the best. My story began in the Storm Dragon Empire. Many years ago, I was born there, but not as Liu Jianguo. I was born as Qing Jianguo, Second Prince of the Empire, son of Emperor Qing Jin.”

Liu Jin opens his mouth, but no sound comes out. His mouth just hangs open in an unsightly way.

Prince!

His father was a prince!

His grandfather was an emperor!

He had been named after his grandfather!

Any other person wouldn’t have been able to believe the words coming out of Liu Jianguo’s mouth. They’d have instantly called him a liar or think he was playing some sort of joke. Liu Jianguo has been living as a humble doctor in Eastern Port City for over a decade. How can a man like that be a prince?

Liu Jin believes him instantly.

It is not because he is thinking rationally about it. It is not because his brain is putting together all the small clues he has gathered over the years.

The notion of his father lying to him just never once crosses his mind. That is all.

“I grew up surrounded by luxury. I had servants at my beck and call, access to several treasures, and many highly-skilled tutors who did their utmost best to help me realize my potential.” Liu Jianguo smiles. “The Xiao Sect would have looked like paupers by comparison.”

Liu Jin does not say anything. He stays silent, doing his best to absorb all the information his father gives him. As he does, one question cannot help but appear on his face.

How did his father end like this if he led such a blessed existence?

“I had an older brother and a younger one. My older brother, the Crown Prince, was meant to inherit the throne, and I was content with that. We grew up together and laughed together. I always felt blessed to be part of such a family. Back then, I truly thought everything was fine.” A sad look appears on his father’s face. “Thinking back on it, I may have been the only one who thought that way.”

“Father?”

“On my fourteenth birthday, my parents were killed, both of them poisoned. My older brother assumed control of the empire and put me in charge of finding the culprits. I was so blinded by rage and grief that I completely neglected everything else happening in the court at the time. All I cared about was finding my parents’ killers, and I did. I uncovered a conspiracy to usurp power within the empire, and the heart of that conspiracy… was my elder brother.”

Liu Jin gasps.

“By the time I found out, it was already too late. My older brother framed me as the culprit, and I was forced to flee from my own country.”

His father pauses, the weight of the memories bearing down on him. To Liu Jin’s surprise, there is no anger emanating from his body.

Merely sadness.

“That was when I sought out Master. He had once been a guest at the royal palace, and I had been left impressed by his skill. I needed to become stronger to avenge the death of my parents, and there were none stronger than him in my mind. For three years, I followed him around, begging him to take me as his disciple.”

“Years?”

Liu Jianguo chuckles at Liu Jin’s shock. “Yes, years. I am still surprised I didn’t annoy Master into killing me. In the end, I think he took me as a disciple only out of boredom. I trained under him for over a decade. I grew in cultivation and medical knowledge. However, I was a pretty ungrateful disciple.”

Ungrateful? Try as he might, Liu Jin cannot associate the word with his father. This must have shown on his face for his father immediately elaborates.

“When Master took me as his disciple, he made me swear to never use the healing arts I learned from him to take lives. This was the only thing he asked of me. For people to kill each other was the most natural thing, so it was senseless to make me vow never to take a life. However, I was never to use healing techniques for anything other than their intended purpose.”

It is a sensible limitation, and it strikes Liu Jin as odd that Old Jiang has never demanded that of him.

“I never had any intention of keeping that oath.”

Liu Jinguo looks down as soon as he says that, unwilling to meet Liu Jin’s eyes.

“From the beginning, I sought him out for one thing only. I wanted to bring justice to those who killed my parents. I wanted to do to them as they had done to my parents. Only that would satisfy me, and I was willing to use any means I deemed necessary. Once I became powerful and knowledgeable enough, I returned to the Storm Dragon Empire under a different name. I hid my face during my travels. I participated in tournaments and gathered those who were strong.”

The things his father told him before the Eastern Port City Tournament suddenly come back to Liu Jin. Back then, it had sounded like his father was recounting a fun adventure.

That is not the case anymore.

“In time, I had built an army of mercenaries, whose services I sold to the highest bidder. Like that, I ingratiated myself to the powerful people of the empire and grew close to those who had participated in the plot to kill my parents. I whispered in their ears and used their fears to turn them against each other.”

Liu Jianguo smiles a bitter smile.

“Starting a civil war is surprisingly easy. A few unexplained illnesses. Some accusations of poisoning. Centuries-old grudges. It was disgusting how easily they turned on each other, and that only made me more convinced that my quest was a righteous one. I was bringing justice to those who had killed my parents and plundered my country. Back then, I still had such foolish thoughts in my head. Once the many factions had weakened each other to my satisfaction, I attacked. They never saw it coming.”

Liu Jin sees as his father’s eyes grow colder than he has ever seen them before. The room seems to grow darker around them.

“I massacred them. I killed them one after another. They were diseases that had been allowed to fester for far too long. That is how I saw them. With every death, I felt my heart grow lighter, and I foolishly convinced myself that if I killed enough, my grief and rage would fade away. However, it was never enough. Entire sects disappeared because of me. Entire families. People who had nothing to do with my parents’ death other than being born with the wrong last name became victims of my wrath. Those who had not even been born when my family died were not spared. I consumed everything, and my brother proved no different. Him. His wife. His children. All died by my hand. Son, I pray you never know what it is like. To kill and kill, and find there aren’t enough people alive to sate your rage.”

Liu Jin doesn’t speak. He doesn’t even breathe.

“Only my younger brother was spared for he had played no part in my parents’ death. By the time the dust settled, my enemies were dead, and I was emperor. Yet, the ending I envisioned did not come to pass. It did not take long for people to rise against me, calling me a tyrant. Suddenly, I had enemies again, so I dealt with them as I had dealt with all my previous enemies.”

His father pauses, and Liu Jin is grateful for it. The knowledge he has received is far more than he could have imagined.

“Sometimes, an assassin would get close enough, and I’d see their faces before killing them. I started wondering. Did my face ever look like that? Was I still capable of it, or had I already exhausted all rage within me? Was I still human? It is an odd feeling. Realizing you are a monster. It creeps on you, like waking up from a dream. You start comparing who you were and who you wanted to be against what you have become. I couldn’t bear it.”

Liu Jin softly leans back. “So, that’s why…”

“I left it all behind. I left my brother in charge of the empire and never looked back. That is why I crippled myself. Someone like me was simply not deserving of any power. I expected Master to kill me when he found me. However, I was deemed too pathetic for that. I expected to die, yet I found your mother instead.”

“My mother?”

“She was a woman of common birth, yet she was undoubtedly my salvation.” His father’s smile grows lighter as he speaks of her. “It was she who convinced me to atone using my skills. It is thanks to her that I am a doctor now, and it is thanks to her that I have you. After your mother died, I dared to think I would just need to be a simple doctor until the end of my days. I did not expect to end up in a city that is so close to the border of my old country, nor did I expect to encounter Master once more. I most certainly did not expect to tell you the things I have told so soon.”

Liu Jianguo sighs.

“Each can be considered a punishment in their own ways, though certainly lighter ones than I deserve.”

With that, his father goes silent, looking at him as if waiting for something.

His father is expecting his judgment, Liu Jin realizes.

He is expecting his scorn.

“Father, I… I am afraid I must disappoint you,” Liu Jin says, bowing his head. “The events you speak of… the scale is simply too large for your son to comprehend. Even if you tell me these things, I cannot reconcile my father with the person you are speaking of.”

The tea has gone cold a long time ago. There is no steam behind which father and son can hide.

“In the end, I think my answer is the same as before. The father before me is the only father I know.”

Something glassy appears in his father’s eyes.

“You truly are your mother’s son. Just like her, you are more than I could ever deserve.”

~~~

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