All the Dust that Falls: A Roomba Isekai Adventure

Beatrice cranked the gate up to let me in after I had chased away the aggressive humans. But before she was finished, she had to turn away from her task to calm down the yelling. I really didn't understand why there were so many angry people in there. Now that they were safe, they should have been happy. Plus, all the commotion was starting to agitate the children.

This was not shaping up well. Once the first little human started to cry, it was like a tidal wave that ran through the group, and soon more than half of the children were bawling their eyes out. I needed to do something. Normally the larger humans were attentive and cared for them, at least their own assigned little humans, but now even they were being ignored. I let out a distressed beep trying to get everyone's attention so they could focus on what was important.

The constant yelling drowned me out. Ok, plan B. I took my claw and shapely knocked on the gate sending the whole thing ringing. It was like the tolling of a bell. Everyone stopped talking all at once and looked at me.

Now that I had everyone's attention, I started to explain what was going on. You are safe now, I beeped.

Not everyone seemed to understand, but luckily I had Beatrice. The small girl stepped in to translate for me. "We have taken you to a place of safety where the undead will no longer bother you. Be welcome."

Eh, close enough. I chose my next words carefully. Unfortunately, some humans have proven to be dirty and attacked this castle. Do not worry as I have defended this place and will continue to do so.

"There are many humans who do not yet know of my glory and will not trust my protection. Any who challenges the integrity of my domain or endangers those under my protection will be dealt with swiftly and fairly. This is my domain and I will defend it and all who reside within it without fail. There is no reason to fear while you are under my protection, for you could walk through a storm of arrows unarmed if I glided by your side."

Hm, she’s getting pretty flowery here but ok. Killing is not something I like to do, but as you can see, they attacked first. Violence is filthy and will not be tolerated except in self-defense.

"While you are in my domain my rules are absolute. Killing or committing violence is strictly forbidden and will be punished with my full authority. I understand seeing fellow humans cut down with such ease and decisiveness is unsettling and is not something you wished to see. These dirty heathens dared to attack my domain and broke the peace that surrounds me, so I had no choice but to enforce the law.

"I do not relish violence and forbid it in my presence except in the defense of yourselves and others. All who are able to follow these simple rules have nothing to fear in my domain. However, if you are not able to keep your hands clean you should leave now."

Bee finished her speech, which entirely blew out of proportion what I was trying to say. I needed to end this quickly now before things got too far out of hand. I took a couple processor cycles to pull my thoughts together before I beeped my next message. Now, care for the children, all this yelling has upset them.

There. There was no way that she would be able to misinterpret that.

"Look at the ruckus now, look at the children, see how they cry? That is all for naught. Go and comfort them, for they are safe. Children are of the most sacred import and it is our duty to care for and rear them so they, too, may grow to enjoy the peace the world will soon know. Once the world is clean and pure, no longer will the children fear the roving hordes of undead that push at the boundaries of my domain.

"No more will the innocent fear the corruption of man. No longer will men be left to rule themselves. The absolute arbiter of truth has come and will settle all your petty debates and shepherd you to prosperity. As you follow me and keep my tenents, all will be well. Now, go and care for the children. May the clean be uplifted."

Beatrice finished her "translation" and turned to give me a deep bow before going to one knee, one hand clasping her broom. The others looked at Beatrice and then me with a new, strange emotion in their eyes. As one, they dropped to both knees and pressed their foreheads into the ground with their hands above their heads. The exception was Tony, who mimicked Beatrice's posture on one knee, with the opposite fist pressed to the ground

"Praise be to Void. May all things be cleansed." Beatrice intoned. Everyone echoed the words and suddenly I received several notifications, as well as a huge amount of experience. More than when I killed the large demon even.

Congratulations, you have established a new religion! You have been awarded extra experience. Followers of the religion will now offer ten percent of their experience gained as a tithe to their patron (you).

Members will be offered Devotee of Spot as their third class option at level five. Future upgrades will have at least one upgrade option based on your religion’s ideals.

LEVEL GAINED X 5!

LEVEL 55 REACHED! CHOOSE A SKILL: VOID MANIPULATION, DIVINE ALMANAC, AUDIO BALANCING

New skills are always welcome. I was not sure what Void Manipulation was but since Beatrice always called me that I had a certain affinity for it. I didn’t think that I needed an Almanac as my memory banks were still working just fine. Audio Balancing just didn’t appeal to me. For the first time in a while my choice was clear. It was nice to gain a level, it had been a while and as high as I was I didn’t expect to get more anytime soon. I started to examine my new skill and I could tell it had something to do with the infinite space in my dustbin.

But before I could really experiment with it the rush of power continued.

NEW FOLLOWERS GAINED X 42

LEVEL GAINED!

LEVEL 60 REACHED CHOOSE A SKILL: DIVINE SWORD, PURIFY, SMITE

I felt a power course through me, but this time I had more control. I fought to not let it pour out of me as I feared harming the surrounding humans. Instead, I forced it to stay inside.But where? My battery was full, and I couldn't push it to improve my level anymore. I forced it into my dustbin. From there, I watched it swirl around. I saw that it tried to enter the contents of my dustbin, but I directed it away as well as I could, surprising myself with the new found control. Those humans didn't deserve the energy.

Now I was at a loss for what to do. Normally I would transmute the mass in the dustbin to energy and use it to do something, either charge my battery or level up. A couple of times, I had wasted the excess, but that wasn't something I wanted to do again. Now I had energy saved up in its pure form. That was useful. Hopefully it would last.

After a couple of seconds, while Beatrice once again resumed raising the gate, I felt the energy from my level up settle down within me. I tried to take some of the stuff stored in my dustbin and funnel it into my levels. Somehow I felt that it was no longer compatible. So what was I supposed to do with this?

Reading over my skill choices I wasn’t sure what I wanted. I might have to wait and choose later.

The portcullis had raised enough that I was able to zip inside. By the time I made it in, everyone had gotten to their feet and rushed off with the children. Even the normally overlooked ones were cared for. Good, I was glad they would have someone to care for them. I just hoped that they could stay out of trouble.

—

Bee watched her master think after she had opened the gate for it. She could only hope that she had done a good enough job putting into words what it had decreed. It was hard not to feel inadequate though. She had long ago realized that Void was a transcendent being, imbued with great wisdom and power beyond any outside of the legends. But between its dispatch of the assault team and the deep profoundness of its speech, she once again found herself floored. No, enlightened. She could sense that there were likely thousands of hidden meanings in its words that she had missed, but she had done her best to keep it simple and brief.

Even now, there were dozens of better ways to convey what Void had told them running through her head. "Master, may I be excused? I have some writing I would like to get to."

This time the beep was just a simple yes. Bowing in thanks, she ran off to the library while the revelations were still fresh in her head.

When she got there, she pulled as much blank paper onto a desk as she could find and started writing feverishly. At first, it was just describing all the things her master told her. A summary of Void’s teachings, perhaps, and the words it had seen fit to bestow upon her. She searched her memories to recall every bit of information that had come in its strange shrieking language. Soon enough, she had a decent summary of all the things she had learned so far.

Looking at the mounds of scribbles and scattered papers, it was obvious to her that not everyone would be able to understand this. Instead, she would need to reframe this information in an easy-to-understand way. Something that they could use to teach others - even children.

She needed something simple. Straightforward, yet imbued with meaning. Invigorated, Bee started making a list of all the individual rules that she had learned from Void so far. Each time she tried, she started struggling with what level of detail to include. Was the method for dusting crown molding important enough?

Eventually, she decided to shelve the list idea for the moment. She needed more perspective. Perhaps she could review her own experiences with Void to find inspiration. Crystallizing her thoughts once more, the girl began to write about all of her experiences with her master so far. If nothing else, it would be an important record for documenting a god's first steps in this world.

***

The work took her many days and several sleepless nights. The slight girl worked with a tireless fervor, as though she were running out of time. Tony started bringing her food that she often let grow cold next to her. More importantly though, he would get more paper and ink. Eventually, she looked down at a few dozen pages on the table in front of her.

It had all the factual events, as well as most of the high level lessons in it. Scattered around were various other piles of notes that dove into details, particularly on things that were too specific to fit into the easy-to-digest narrative tale. Perhaps she would use them as references, or maybe something else. She just hadn't decided yet.

Looking at the whole mess of papers, she stood and stretched for the first time in days. If she had tried to do this a year ago or even at level 20, she would have been sleep-deprived and cramping. Now with her heightened powers, she just felt like she had maybe missed a few hours of sleep. Leveling up was no joke. No wonder the strongest humans seemed to live for ages.

Now she just had to decide how she was going to communicate this information to the rest of the world. The people here seemed to get it. Even if they hadn't been able to understand her lord perfectly, her translation and the sudden epiphanies some of the children had been having showed their deeper connection to Void’s teachings.

Everyone was starting to come to the same understanding. This would just formalize it. Make sure everyone was on the same page. Bee wished that Tony could read it to make sure it aligned with his experience. But unfortunately, he still hadn't taken her up on her offer to learn. That was okay for now. She would get him to recount his story and then write it down for him. The second disciple was important, too, after all.

Besides, the story wasn't over. She had left much more room for the teachings of Void to fit in this fledgling book. But first, she needed to go tell everyone in the castle what she had written and see what they thought.

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