About Your Pride and My Prejudice

Chapter 123: All of Me, All of My Life

It didnt take long for Viola, who had put Marty to sleep, to return. Surprisingly, my cute Viola was already a wonderful mother.

Do you remember what you said to me about Marty?

No, do you remember all that?

It was so obvious that Viola was lying that it made me laugh. Because it was enough to tell at a glance that her face was burning.

Honestly, I was skeptical at the time. I thought it was arrogance to be willing to take on an unfamiliar life because of the one intangible feeling of love. How long can it last?

Thats why it was shocking to hear that you didnt care if it wasnt Mr. Brickhouses child.

But now I think I understand that feeling.

.

Really. I think I know.

In a life full of things that are rapidly being consumed, how noble it is to bet your whole life on one formless and unfathomable emotion. Because we are all living beings that grew up in anxiety.

If one thinks about it that way, they can understand whose child that little Marty is and what it feels like to be no longer important. The only thing that matters is that the child, the only one, saved you and made you live.

Love is such a cruel and merciful thing. So we lose our minds and hang on eagerly. Like a star that burns nonstop and is willing to do its best over billions of years knowing its close to death.

But Melissa.

Violas hazel eyes glistened with water. She always had these eyes when she worried about my problems as if it were her own.

If you are only in a one-time relationship with that person. What are you going to do if he doesnt end up proposing? Hes the one who hasnt even given you assurance.

.

The quicker it heats up, the quicker it cools down. Arent you scared?

Hmm.

Id be lying if I said it wasnt scary. But the months I spent with him made all of my life meaningful.

So even if I turn back time, even if the ending is set, I will be by his side.

When I finished thinking, my face naturally became relaxed. It was unusual for me to talk about Alan. I dont want to miss the precious moment because Im worried about things that havent even happened, Viola. Like you said.

Mel, have you always had such a good memory?

With her fingers wiping the tears from the corners of her eyes, Viola smiled a little and spoke in a voice that seemed to be dreamy.

You told me too, Melissa. Only make choices that make me happy. That would be the right answer.

Right.

That was really the answer. Thats the only thing.

We may never be able to define what love is. It seems to be filled with all kinds of metaphors and thoughts.

But maybe theres nothing bad about it. Because its a beautiful poem by itself.

As the sun sets and even the twilight disappears into the dark winter night, a man arrives to meet Viola.

Good morning, maam. Baron Brickhouse says the inspection is getting longer.

Oh, I see. Thank you.

Viola, who did not hear more conversations, returned quickly and made my bed with a calm face. Like its not a big deal.

Who is it?

Uh, the messenger he sent. Oh, wait a minute.

After saying that, Viola hurriedly left the room, appearing with a fluffy pillow in her arms.

Lets sleep together after such a long time!

That one sentence took us back to our childhood days. Naturally, I did not refuse.

Before Viola got married, we were free to travel to and from each others homes. I dont know how much I missed those times.

We lay side by side on the bed of the guest room, which was so quiet that we could only hear the sound of breathing and the windows rattling from time to time in the harsh winter wind. Holding hands together like we did when we were young.

Do you feel like even the winter in your homeland feels colder once youve adapted to the Principalitys weather?

Then, how about winter here?

Stop it. Just the thought of embarking on another long journey tomorrow morning is frightening.

Viola smiled softly like a child as she shook her head.

I think I can laugh and chat all night even with silly stories. I have completely forgotten how special a friend is.

As I was thinking about it, Viola, who had already lost her smile, asked at once.

Melissa, were you happy?

What?

In Lunoa.

Her voice was somehow distant, like an echo.

Yes, I was incredibly happy. Every day was like a dream.

Are you going to give up studying abroad, leaving me worried, and say something like that?

Viola scoffed playfully and tickled my stomach. A laugh broke out without resistance. I couldnt help but tickle her neck furiously.

If Marty wakes up from this disturbance and sees us, it will look like he has discovered the secrets of adults.

Melissa.

As the night deepened, the giddy laughter slowly subsided. Viola said.

Its your choice to go back to Sir Alan, isnt it?

What?

Im asking if you have any hesitation. I wonder if youre still in a fantasy.

There was still anxiety in her voice.

Well, no matter how happy I am, it must feel strange. In the past six months, where I havent even sent a letter to my mother, let alone Viola.

I know its a situation where I have to say no quickly, but for some reason, the words didnt come out. Its true that the time I spent with Alan was close to fantasy.

Instead, I replied,

Everyone lives in their own world.

.

I want to give him the world of me. All my life, all of me.

Viola was silent for a moment. I hastily added just in case she might dissuade me again.

Its not like a sacrifice. Im saying it purely for my happiness.

I understand, Melissa. You dont have to persuade me anymore.

Do you understand?

Im sorry if I worried you and pushed you too hard. Im glad youre in love that is not wasted even if you give the world.

Im tearing up. Viola laughed slowly. The voice sounded somewhat sad. Youre still worried. So I carefully added my words.

And its Its not something I do just to be his wife.

To be honest, adding this was also encouraging for me.

But Mel

But in the dark, Viola prolonged her words.

Marriage is It may not be everything in life.

It was a perfectly natural story, but it was not something that would come out of the mouth of a young woman in this world, who was the guardian of love, who is known for marriage as the absolute value of life.

I asked back with concern.

Why do you say that?

Now that Ive done it. Its not what I had thought.

.

Even though it was a vague sentence, I felt like I could understand it all.

She thought she could always be with him once she got married, but shes getting used to the nights when her husband doesnt come back, and shes taking care of a child who doesnt share a drop of blood with her and the greatest comfort from that child is. Surely its not something that one would expect before marriage.

I just thought it was fortunate that her voice didnt sound distressed. She didnt cry because she regretted getting married which is a very common thing.

As the biggest consolation I can do now, I hugged my little best friend with a tearful smile.

Then I heard a small whisper from my chest.

We were really normal girls, Mel.

Yes.

But why cant we have normal love?

Well, I dont know, but.

I replied after much consideration.

Maybe theres no such thing as ordinary love in the world.

***

The coachman, whom I had summoned the day before, arrived early in the morning as promised. The distant hills were bathed in the soft, wintry morning light.

The only person to see me off was a woman with a red noseViola Brickhouse. Because Jacob hasnt returned from the inspection, and the young Marty hasnt come back from his dreamland yet.

Viola looked at me with affection for a moment as I was about to get into the carriage, and eventually hugged me in sorrow.

Melissa, when can I see you again?

Well.

I patted Mrs. Brickhouse on the back and thought. When I go back to the Principality, shall I ask Alan to invite her? Alan might listen now.

In fact, if I had said that I wanted to send a letter to the Kingdom instead of a present on my last birthday, he would have gladly accepted it. Our differences became starkly apparent the day I mentioned the letter and received a cold rejection, like mornings and nights apart.

Our bond is incomparably deeper than it used to be. So if I go back to Alans side, then Ill have to be brave.

It wont be long. Ill make sure to write to you when I get back.

.

Live well, Viola. Say hello to Mr. Brickhouse for me.

Ugh, its not going to take long, right? How can you say it as if you wont be able to see me for six months?

We laughed just like children. As we grew up, we were good at pretending not to be sad.

Anyway, I thought it was a relief that we could part ways with a smile. I know well see each other again soon.

And then well laugh together like this. Like immature girls.

* * *

Miss, this is the right place, right?

Oh, its around it Ill just walk because I dont have much luggage. Thank you.

After paying the good-natured couchman and getting off the carriage, the road to the house unfolded in front of me.

The fresh wind of a winter afternoon that clings to the lungs. I loved the way home, feeling this dreadful chill, so much.

Soon, a small two-story house made of red bricks came into view.

Haa.

My beloved home. It is an illusion that the warmth spreads throughout my body just by looking at it.

If I knock on the old doorknob, Mrs. Kearney with a laid-back smile will open the door for me, and the naughty Julia will run out.

Uh?

But I had to pause. It was because I found someone standing in front of the window looking out.

Mom.

My mother stood in the same spot with an empty face as always. After standing outside the window and making eye contact, her empty eyes shone.

Melissa?

Even though her daughter, who should have appeared two years later, returned after only half a year, there was no question of why she came so quickly in the mothers eyes. What caught her eye, of course, was the opposite emotion.

Her distant breath faded away.

Im back, Mom.

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